Updated: Aug 5
Sometimes parents come into my office stuck in their parenting.
They were great with their toddler or school aged child and then BAM their kid becomes a teenager and they are floundering.
Or maybe the toddler years are leaving them feeling ruffled and stressed.
It all goes back to our family of origin and where our parents got stuck.
If our parents rocked the toddler phase but just couldn't connect with us as infants we remember that. This isn't to bash our parents, they also had muscle memories of being unconnected as infants (or toddlers or teens).
Now we are talking about all those "good enough" parents. Childhood emotional trauma is real and has a place in this conversation but that is an even bigger kettle of fish.
So if our parents were "good enough" and got stuck in a certain stage parenting us that is usually where we get stuck.
It's helpful to know this because if we were rocking the toddler years and then hit the skids with our school aged child we might lose confidence in our parenting.
And the best news of all is that therapy is a great place to explore how we were parented while also exploring our parenting struggles. Healing can be done and we can have better, more connected relationships with our kids.
So they can go on to rock all the stages of parenting and we can sit back and smile.