Kimberly Schildbach Therapy
Online Couples Therapy and Discernment Counseling in Washington, Massachusetts, Connecticut, & Florida.
Couples Therapy in Brookline, Massachusetts
When you're ready to put down your armor and reach for each other again.
Helping couples struggling with infidelity, conflict, and divorce ambivalence find their way forward.
You’re Lying Next to the Person You Love - and You’ve Never Felt More Alone
Couples Therapy in Brookline, Massachusetts
You feel the tension before either of you says a word, because you know the look on your partner’s face and they know the look on yours. You feel yourself rehearsing how to bring something up in the car because you already know that saying it the wrong way could set everything off. You feel yourself getting louder because they aren’t hearing you, while they are already retreating because they feel like nothing they say will ever be enough.
You feel the loneliness of eating dinner together while barely speaking, of getting into bed still angry and turning your backs to each other, of staring at your phone because you don’t know how to cross the distance between you. You feel the sting when your partner reaches for their phone instead of you, when affection has become rare or awkward, when sex has disappeared or become another source of tension, and when you catch yourself thinking, “When did we become like this?”
And then there are the moments neither of you talks about: sitting in the driveway before going inside because you need a few minutes to yourself, crying in the bathroom so the kids won't hear, wondering whether your partner even notices how unhappy you are, or lying awake beside them thinking, “I love you, but I don't know how much longer I can do this.”
You feel the frightening possibility that the distance between you is becoming normal, even though neither of you wants it to be. And yet, if you’re still hurting this much, there is probably still something here you desperately want to save.
I help couples caught in this painful cycle understand what is happening beneath the fighting, find the words for what they have been unable to say, and create a relationship where you can feel close again instead of constantly bracing for the next rupture.
When Your Love Feels Like a Minefield - Let’s Clear the Path in Brookline, MA
Online Couples Therapy in Brookline, Massachusetts
You Don’t Have To Keep Loving Each Other Like This
You're sick of the repeated Tuesday night fight.
You want to be able to laugh together again, feel wanted by them again, want their hands on your back again. You want to reach for your partner and not wonder if you’re going to be rejected or if you reach to them you won't be met with defence.
You want to tell them what’s really going on inside you without it turning into another argument. You want to sit across the dinner table and actually feel connected to the person sitting there - not just two exhausted people getting through another day.
You want to feel like your partner knows you. Not just your schedule, your habits, and what needs to be picked up at the grocery store, but your heart - what hurts, what scares you, what you need, what makes you feel loved.
And you want to know that when life gets hard, the two of you don't have to become enemies just because you don't know how to reach each other.
That kind of relationship is possible. Like the relationship you both wanted when you chose each other. I help couples make that shift.
When you’re ready to stop wondering if this is as good as it gets - and start making it better.
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy in Brookline, MA
What actually happens in couples therapy?
Most couples come in saying some version of:
"We just keep having the same fight over and over." That’s because conflict in relationships follows very predictable emotional patterns. One partner protests, pushes, criticizes, or demands change. The other partner withdraws, shuts down, defends, or disappears emotionally. Then the cycle escalates.
In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we slow this pattern down and look directly at what’s happening underneath the conflict - the fears, injuries, and attachment needs that are driving the fight. Couples therapy with me is not a debate where I decide who’s right.
It’s structured work that helps both partners see the pattern they’re caught in and learn new ways to reach for each other instead of attacking or withdrawing.
What if one of us is already thinking about leaving our marriage?
If one partner is leaning toward leaving and the other is desperate to save the relationship, that pattern is better served by Discernment Counseling. Discernment counseling is a short-term process designed specifically for couples where one partner is "leaning out" of the relationship and the other is "leaning in." The goal isn’t to fix the marriage the goal is clarity for what you want next.
I'm a highly trained Certified Discernment Counselor and I can help you through a process to find your way forward.
Can couples counseling help after infidelity?
Yes - but only if both partners are willing to face the truth of what happened and the reality of where your relationship was before the injury.
When infidelity is discovered, the relationship goes into attachment trauma. The betrayed partner often experiences intense shock, rage, grief, and hypervigilance. The partner who betrayed may feel shame, panic, or a strong urge to shut the conversation down.
If therapy moves too quickly into "communication skills," it can actually make things worse. In my work, we first stabilize and deescalate the relationship after the discovery. Then we begin carefully unpacking what happened, what the betrayal meant, and what rebuilding trust would actually require. Please see my infidelity page for more information.
What if there has been sexual secrecy or compulsive sexual behavior?
Sexual secrecy can devastate trust in a relationship.
Many couples come to me after discovering things like:
• hidden pornography use
• secret online sexual behavior
• escorts or affairs
• compulsive sexual habits that were kept hidden for years
When secrecy has been part of the relationship, the betrayed partner often feels like their reality has been shattered. The person who was their best friend now feels unpredictable. For the partner who engaged in the secrecy, regret and remorse can block healing and repair.
In therapy, with my guidance, I'll help you have the conversations you can't have at home - right here in session - so you can experience success and connection, rather than being sent home to do it on your own. It makes all the difference in the healing process.
We’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t help. Why would this be different?
A lot of couples therapy focuses on surface issues like communication tips, fair fighting rules, or homework exercises. The problem is, those tools won't help you in the middle of a conflict. And they don’t address the emotional attachment system that drives relationship conflict. Emotionally Focused Therapy is different. I focuse on the deep emotional bond between partners - and the panic that happens when the bond doesn't feel secure. When couples begin to understand the emotional pattern they’re caught in, the fights that once felt impossible to escape start to shift.
How long does couples therapy in Brookline take?
I wish I knew - I'd sell that information for a million bucks! Seriously, there is no answer. If there has been years of disconnection or any attachment injuries - it can take some time. I will always be checking in to see how relevant therapy is feeling. EFT provides a map that is evidence based - so I know where we need to go to reconfigure your bond. It's flexible but structured. Most couples find some relief within a few months.
Do you offer intensive couples therapy in Brookline?
Yes. Some couples arrive in acute crisis and don’t want to spend months slowly addressing the problem. For those situations, I offer online private couples therapy intensives where we spend extended time together working deeply on your relationship in a focused format. It can stop the spiral and build momentum. I suggest most couples plan on engaging in a series of intensive therapy block or weekly/biweekly therapy after their intensive to keep the momentum going.
Online Couples Therapy in Brookline
Couples Therapy in Brookline, MA
I provide online couples therapy for couples in Brookline, Massachusetts who are tired of feeling disconnected, stuck in the same arguments, or unsure how to get their relationship back on track.
I work with couples throughout Brookline, including Coolidge Corner, Washington Square, Brookline Village, Chestnut Hill, Longwood, North Brookline, South Brookline, and Fisher Hill, as well as couples in nearby Newton, Boston, Brighton, Cambridge, Needham, Wellesley, and Jamaica Plain.
Whether you’re caught in constant conflict, struggling to reconnect after a painful rupture, feeling more like roommates than partners, or quietly wondering whether your relationship can recover, couples therapy can help you understand what is happening between you and create a different experience of your relationship.
I also provide online couples therapy throughout Massachusetts, making it possible to get specialized support without adding another commute or fluorescent lights to your busy day.