Kimberly Schildbach Therapy
You've lost connection with your partner and
it's affecting every part of your life.
You're feeling abandoned, rejected, and unseen.
Both of you are lashing out, criticizing, or withdrawing.
You've been through a loss of trust, and you're feeling shaken and alone.
You feel defensive and misunderstood in your relationship and you can remember a time when you felt open and supported.
You're considering marriage but you want to make sure you have a solid foundation.
When we lose connection with our loved ones life can seem like one big struggle. Let's work together to get you connected again.
What we want most in life is success in all our relationships.
Online Couples Counseling
Can Help You:
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Move your relationship beyond repeated futile dynamics and arguments to shared vision and purpose.
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Learn to let go of defensiveness and self protection and turn towards each other with openness and trust.
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Heal from betrayals and resentments.
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Restore your emotional and physical connection.
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Become each other's "port in a storm".
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Begin to deeply understand your partner's feelings and needs, and in turn become closer and more connected to them.
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Begin to deeply understand your longings, fears, and pain so you can find compassion and understanding from your partner and become more accepting of yourself.
We are wired to connect with those around us. What happens when we feel like our partner
isn't truly there for us?
The pain of feeling betrayed doesn't just go away
A betrayal trauma is when one or both partners doesn't feel supported in a time of great stress and sadness. There's a sense that the person who is supposed to be our greatest champion and supporter becomes the source of our greatest pain.
It makes us feel crazy - but you are not crazy. Your relationship needs attention.
I can help you unravel what went wrong and lead you to turn towards each other in understanding and support.
I can help you both identify your underlying feelings and communicate them to each other.
There is hope for your relationship. Healing is possible.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Kimberly Schildbach LMHC MFT
Couples Therapy in Boston and all of Massachusetts
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) helps couples improve their emotional connection and communication. It is based on the theory that our early attachment experiences shape our adult relationships, and that couples who are able to resolve their attachment issues are more likely to have a happy and fulfilling relationship.
EFT has been shown to be effective in helping couples improve their relationship satisfaction, communication, and intimacy. It is a particularly good fit for couples who are struggling with emotional disconnection, conflict, attachment injuries, or infidelity.
EFT can help couples:
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Understand their attachment styles. Understanding your own attachment style and your partner's attachment style can help you to better understand why you react the way you do in conflict and how to communicate your needs more effectively.
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Identify and express their emotions. EFT helps couples learn how to identify and express their emotions in a way that is clear, honest, and respectful.
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Resolve conflict in a healthy way. EFT helps couples learn how to identify the root of the conflict, communicate their needs, and build trust and openness.
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Repair emotional injuries. EFT helps couples repair emotional injuries and rebuild trust.
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Create a more secure attachment bond. A secure attachment bond is characterized by trust, intimacy, and support. EFT can help couples to create a more secure attachment bond by helping them to feel safe, loved, and accepted.
I've worked with many couples
who come in dejected and defensive
and leave feeling like their partner really "gets them".
If you're struggling in your relationship please reach out for a free 15 minute consultation to see if we'd be a good fit.
Creating Strong Foundations for Lasting Love
Premarital counseling, also known as premarital therapy, is a type of couples therapy that is designed to help couples prepare for marriage. It is a proactive approach to marriage that can help couples to:
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Identify and address potential problems before they become major issues
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Develop healthy communication and conflict resolution skills
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Create a shared vision for their future together
I offer personalized premarital couples therapy to help you and your partner develop a deeper understanding of each other's needs, expectations, and communication styles.
Choose weekly therapy or a couples intensive. Premarital therapy is a solid investment in your relationship.
Premarital Couples Counseling
Kimberly Schildbach LMHC MFT
Premarital Couples Therapy in Boston and all of Massachusetts
Your Sexual Connection
Kimberly Schildbach LMHC MFT - Online Couples Therapy in Boston and all of Massachusetts
Couples counseling will help you re-establish a sense of safety in your relationship so you may explore and reconnect with your sexual feelings and desires.
Do you struggle opening up sexually with your partner?
Do you have sexual trauma that has cut you off from your normal and healthy sexual feelings?
Do you understand and honor your sexual feelings and needs?
Are you playful and in touch with your sexual self?
Are you and your partner caught in a cycle of defensiveness and disengagement around sex?
In order to engage with a partner in a fun and open sexual relationship we must first understand our feelings around our own sexuality. Therapy can help you reclaim your sexual relationship with your partner.
Questions and Objections
Does couples therapy really work?
Absolutely, yes! Allowing me a peek into your repeated arguments gives me the chance to gently guide you into more productive conversations. I will help you to really hear each other's concerns. Sometimes we express anger or hurt when we really desire connection and love. I help couples and families hear the tender emotions behind their attacks and defensiveness.
Willpower and behavioral change alone will not help rebuild your relationship(s). If you could have fixed it you would have fixed it already. You must get to the heart of the issue(s) and for that, you need a trained and gentle guide.
What if you take my partner's side against me in couples counseling?
This is a valid concern. With our friends and coworkers usually people take "a side" leaving us feeling judged and ganged up on.
I am specifically trained to connect and understand each member's point of view. Each member has a valid opinion of what has happened. Our sessions will be balanced and fair with each of you having ample time to speak and feel validated.
I'm concerned you will tell us to give up or that I'm wrong? I don't want to feel judged.
You can expect me to be warm, friendly, and easy to talk to. My job is not to judge and not to tell you how to live you life.
My job is to help you both feel heard and to help you hear each other. Behind all the criticisms and hateful things we throw at our partners are emotions that need to be expressed and honored. I can help you identify and express what you're struggling with so your relationships can feel light and easy again.
How do we start couples counseling? I'm ready and I don't want to wait long.
Contact me with any questions or concerns or to schedule your first therapy session. If the stars align, I will have an opening for you now or in the near future.
Specializing in....
Couples Counseling
Online in all of Massachusetts
We are wired for connection and attachment but things can get in our way. Therapy can help you move from defensiveness and distrust too openness and emotional attunement.
Individual Trauma Focused Therapy
Online in all of Massachusetts
Anxiety, depression, trauma.
I use an Emotionally Focused Therapy lens to help you gain a secure and confident sense of self again.
Also Individual Therapy Intensives for accelerated healing.
Couples Therapy Intensives
Online in all of Massachusetts
Intensives allow you to jump start the therapy process. Choose a morning or afternoon 3 hour afternoon intensive. Intensives can be a one-off or a limited series. Couples say that their intensive turned their relationship around and started them on the road to healing.