You want to make it work- you just don’t know how. That’s where couples therapy helps.
What We’ll Actually Do in Couples Therapy​
We won’t do “fight of the week.”
We’re not going to spend session after session dissecting whatever argument happened on Tuesday.
Instead, I want to help you find:
The attachment panic under the anger. The shame under the defensiveness. The loneliness under the criticism. The longing under the withdrawal.
This is classic Emotionally Focused Therapy - going straight to the heart of the matter, the process that is so escalated between you two - it stops you from being able to talk and reach each other without blowing up or withdrawing - that is where our work is.
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When There Has Been Infidelity
In EFT, we treat infidelity as a serious attachment injury (other attachment injuries can happen too - like inattention during a medical crisis or childbirth). It’s a traumatic betrayal by a partner - turning the one you trusted the most into someone you’re not sure you can ever trust again.
For the betrayed partner, it can warp their sense of self. The world feels unsafe. It creates a “never again will I trust” moment that often leaves an indelible mark on the relationship, keeping you stuck in negative, repetitive, rigid cycles - anger and withdrawal, or anger on top of anger, both of you hurting.
This isn’t something any couple should navigate alone.
EFT addresses these injuries through the Attachment Injury Resolution Model (AIRM) - a structured process that helps couples process the pain, take emotional accountability, and rebuild secure attachment.
AIRM helps you both de-escalate. It gives you the tools to hear the pain, shame, and regret of the other person - to truly understand it and respond to it in a responsive, rather than reactive, way.
Please see my infidelity page for more information.
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The Transformation Couples Experience
Over time, something important begins to change: your bond becomes more secure than it has ever been. If there has been a relationship injury it doesn’t disappear - but it becomes something you weathered together and came out stronger from.
You learn to understand what your fights are actually about, like the fear and panic underneath the anger. Your feel like your partner becomes more open to your pain - really curious about it - instead of defending against it.
You feel seen and heard instead of attacked. You stop reacting just to protect yourself and start reaching for each other again. You feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
So you don’t just “stay together.”
You become a powerful team - insanely curious about each other, protective of each other’s tender spots, aware of how your behavior impacts your partner, and wanting the very best for each other. Knowing it’s not a you versus me blame game - it’s knowing that learning flexibility in your moves is where real transformation for your relationship begins.
Not every couple who reaches out is ready for full couples therapy. Many are standing in a painful in-between place - unsure whether the relationship can or should continue. Discernment Counseling was created for this exact dilemma.
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Discernment Counseling is a focused, time-limited process (usually 1-5 sessions) that helps couples step out of crisis mode and into clarity. There is no expectation to repair the relationship or make an immediate decision. Instead, we slow the process down and look carefully at how you arrived here, what patterns have shaped the relationship, and what personal changes - not just partner changes - would be required if the relationship were to move forward in a healthier direction.
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This work isn’t about convincing anyone to stay or leave. It’s about making a grounded, informed decision. If you feel torn between trying again and letting go, Discernment Counseling offers a clear,
structured path to help you decide.
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You can learn more about how this process works on my Discernment Counseling page.
Discernment Counseling: When You’re Not Sure You Want to Try - But You’re Not Ready to Walk Away
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling in all of MA, CT, FL.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and how can it help us?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a structured, evidence-based approach that helps couples move out of cycles of conflict and disconnection. Instead of just learning communication tips, EFT gets to the root of why you’re stuck - helping you feel safer, more understood, and more connected to each other again. It’s especially effective for couples in crisis or dealing with long-standing patterns of hurt.
Can couples therapy actually help our sex life, or is it just about talking?
Many couples come to therapy when their sex life isn’t what they think it should be. But sex isn’t just about sex - the best sex happens when you feel safe, vulnerable, loose, and free with each other. If your relationship has been struggling with missed communication, injuries, or unspoken resentments, desire discrepancies can sneak in and make you draw quick, often unfair conclusions about each other, your relationship, and even yourself.
In couples therapy, sex always comes up - because it’s never really just about what happens in the bedroom. We’ll talk about the times you do feel close, what feels different then, what hits the brakes, and what hits the gas. I help you both become infinitely curious about each other, so pleasure and connection can be found in every interaction - not just in bed (though definitely there too!).
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We’re in a rough place. Is couples therapy too late for us?
Not at all. I specialize in working with high-conflict couples and those on the brink of separation. Learning to turn towards each other again can be retrieved from your muscle memory.
If either of you is seriously leaning out - Discernment Counseling might be a better choice before you waste months in couples therapy. Discernment Counseling is a structured process to help you decide if you'd like to keep the status quo, move to separation or divorce, or take divorce off the table for 6 months and commit to an intensive round of couples therapy.
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What if one of us isn’t sure we want to stay in the relationship?
That’s more common than you might think. If one partner is leaning out and the other is all-in, I offer a specific process called Discernment Counseling. You’ll each get space to be honest, and we’ll figure out whether to try therapy or move toward a different kind of resolution, with care and respect.
Do both partners have to attend?
Yes. Couples therapy only works when both partners show up and share a common goal for the relationship. I’ll be inviting you both into vulnerability and new ways of reaching for each other - and that requires commitment from both sides. If one of you is seriously leaning out without motivation for couples repair work - consider Discernment Counseling.
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We’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t help. What’s different this time?
That’s something I hear often. Many couples have had disappointing experiences with therapists who didn’t truly know how to do couples therapy. My approach is different. I use a clear, structured model (EFT), and I work with a very small caseload so I can stay deeply engaged in your process. I’ll remember your story, your patterns, and your progress. You won’t be doing this alone.
I’m also very direct. I’ll name the moments where we get stuck or when defenses show up, and I’ll help each of you see your part in the cycle. Many therapists drift toward one partner - and that’s when therapy breaks down. Every relationship takes two people, and both partners have to shift (except in cases of affairs or addictions - those actions are 100% the responsibility of the person who stepped out. Still, both partners shape the overall emotional climate of the relationship).
Our work is about understanding what happens in your heart and body when your partner does x, and helping you send a clearer, more vulnerable signal in those moments. When this starts to click, couples move from high escalation to tender, bonding moments where they finally feel heard - and they begin to protect each other’s most vulnerable places.
It's truly magic - and you both deserve that kind of relationship.