You’re Hurting in Different Ways - But This
Doesn’t Have to Be the End
Therapy for Infidelity in MA, CT, WA, & FL.
Before you found out, you thought you knew what was true. You thought you knew who your partner was, what your relationship meant, and where you stood with each other. Now you're not sure of anything.
The discovery of an affair splits a relationship into a before and an after. There is the life you thought you were living, and then there is the life you're living now - one filled with questions you never wanted to ask and answers you never wanted to hear. You may find yourself replaying conversations from years ago, wondering what was real, what was hidden, and whether you missed something everyone else could see.
For the partner who was betrayed, it is the devastation of realizing that the person you trusted to protect your heart was capable of breaking it that keeps you from sleeping. For the partner who had the affair, there can be crushing shame, regret, panic, and the helplessness of watching the person you love suffer because of choices you cannot take back.
Both of you are stuck in the same storm, but from opposite sides. One partner needs answers, reassurance, and proof that the betrayal is over. The other feels interrogated, hopeless, or terrified that nothing they do will ever be enough. Both of you are exhausted. Both of you are hurting. Both of you are wondering whether their relationship can survive this.
Couples who work with me often say: “For the first time, I feel like my partner understands what this has actually been like for me.”
That is our target zone, that is what therapy for infidelity and affair recovery can give you.
You feel blindsided. You feel betrayed. But this doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.
Couples Therapy for Infidelity in MA, CT, WA, and FL.
Specialized work, right from the start
When infidelity, sexual secrecy, or betrayal comes to light, it can feel as though the relationship you've been living in and the relationship you thought you were living in are suddenly two different things.
This is where specialized treatment for infidelity, betrayal, and sexual secrecy matters.
Over the last 20 years, I've worked with couples facing some of the most painful moments a relationship can endure. I've sat with couples who weren't sure whether they could survive what had happened, who felt trapped between wanting to leave and desperately wanting the relationship they thought they had.
I understand the unique heartbreak of betrayal, the confusion that follows discovery, and the emotional toll secrecy takes on both partners. I also understand that beneath the anger, questioning, defensiveness, and distance, there is often profound grief for the relationship you've lost and uncertainty about what comes next.
When you're in this kind of pain, you need someone who understands the territory. Let me guide you through this.
FAQs About Couples Therapy for Infidelity in MA, CT, WA, and FL.
How is weekly/biweekly infidelity therapy different than intensive therapy?
For couples who like the weekly or biweekly support, going home, trying out new behaviors, and coming back to process what worked, what didn't, and what got in the way, ongoing infidelity therapy offers a steady path toward healing. This format works well for couples who have the availability and emotional bandwidth to engage in therapy regularly.
Intensive therapy offers a more concentrated experience. Rather than spending 50-90 minutes at a time, we will spend several hours together in a focused therapeutic process. This allows us to stay with important conversations longer, identify patterns more quickly, and move beyond crisis management into deeper healing work. There is less time spent catching up on what happened since the last session and more time devoted to understanding the injury, processing emotions, and creating new ways of reaching and responding.
Many couples choose intensives because they want help sooner rather than later, have demanding schedules, live outside the area, or feel stuck despite previous therapy. The extended format can create momentum and clarity that might otherwise take months to achieve in traditional weekly or biweekly sessions.
Both approaches can be effective. The best fit often depends on your schedule, the urgency of the situation, and how much focused time you want to dedicate to the healing process.
Why choose Emotionally Focused Therapy for infidelity and betrayal recovery?
Infidelity therapy is focused, evidence-based work that helps couples repair trust, rebuild safety, and make sense of what happened. It’s not just about talking through the details of the affair; it’s about healing the emotional bond that betrayal broke in session, with support.
EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) is a well-researched method proven to help couples move from blame and shutdown into understanding and connection. Studies show that EFT helps roughly 70–75% of couples move from distress to secure attachment, and the gains last long after therapy ends.¹
¹ Research reference: Johnson, S.M. et al., Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 2005; extensive outcome research confirms EFT’s effectiveness in reducing relationship distress and increasing emotional security.
Can one partner attend and still get help?
Couples therapy only works if both partners have a shared goal of reunification. If one or both of you is leaning out and unsure if you'd like to stay together - Discernment Counseling is a better choice. Discernment Counseling is just that - a structured process to help you discern if you'd like to move towards separation and divorce, keep the status quo, or commit fully to 6 months of structured couples therapy.
Will you be “neutral” or take sides?
I won’t play referee. I’m here to help you clear out the hurt and pain between the two of you. The truth is that good people have affairs and cheat, yell, hurt their partner, pursue for closeness or turn off and retreat. We impact each other. So sometimes you might see me pushing the partner who cheated to own their actions and speak about the hurt underneath and sometimes you'll see me pushing the betrayed partner to express needs without collapsing into shutdown or retaliation. I’ll be working in service of your relationship.
How long does affair recovery take?
There’s no fixed number. Short-term crisis work can be 12+ sessions and often brings relief and stabilization. But deep repair usually takes longer.
Many couples notice a meaningful shift within about three months when therapy is consistent. Ongoing work is often needed - not only to process and heal from the affair, but to understand and repair the underlying disconnection that existed before one (or both) of you turned away from the relationship.
Should we tell friends/family?
I generally advise against sharing too many details right now. The recovery process benefits from privacy. It’s important to have support, but choose wisely - one trusted friend, therapist, or a support group can be enough. Well-meaning friends and family often bring strong opinions or pop-culture ideas about what the “right” thing to do is, which can cloud your process rather than help it.
You need space to heal, not more noise. Thoughtful, balanced support will serve you far better than a chorus of outside voices.
Is infidelity always sexual?
No. Emotional affairs, secret financial betrayals, sexuall secrecy, and sustained deception are also forms of betrayal that wound the attachment system.
How do you handle ongoing contact with the affair partner?
For some, strict no-contact rules are necessary. For others - like a coworker or shared responsibilities- no contact may be more complicated. The key is that you decide together what feels safe.
Healing requires facing these difficult conversations and making choices together. This may include temporarily allowing access to phone messages, calendars, or other forms of transparency to help the injured partner release anxiety and rebuild a sense of security. These measures are not permanent - they are tools to restore safety and trust so the relationship can begin to repair.
What if the affair involved sex addiction or substance use?
I can’t ask one partner to open their heart if the other still has something else to turn to when things get hard - whether that’s porn, substances, or secrecy.
There has to be some process of recovery happening for the partner using the substances, secretive behavior, or porn, or couples therapy will get stuck. I can help with suggestions when we meet.
My first goal for your relationship is transparency and stability, so both partners can begin to feel safe. From there, we work toward making your relationship - not the addiction - the place you both turn to for comfort, stress, and connection.
How can couples therapy rebuild trust after lying?
Trust is rebuilt slowly and concretely. It grows through transparency and consistent behavior. In treatment, our sessions become a laboratory for learning new ways to respond - staying present rather than retreating into guilt, shame, or defensiveness. Our work will help you learn to anticipate and protect the wounded place in your partner's heart so you can offer reassuance that lands.
Will I have to forgive?
Forgiveness is emotional, not cognitive. Forgiveness is a byproduct of connection and repair, not a prerequisite. It’s the emotional space that opens when both partners consistently show care, accountability, and attunement. Some couples reach it sooner; for others, it comes later - or gradually, in layers. The key is creating a relationship where forgiveness can happen naturally, rather than being demanded or forced.
Can we reunite and do couples therapy after separation?
Yes - if both partners commit their heart and time to quality repair work. If not, I can help you decide whether a permanent separation is the best option for your marriage at this time.
How do I know if I picked the right therapist?
Look for a couples therapist not just a therapist that "sees couples". Repetitions matter in couples therapy - more reps mean more experience, which means better help for your relationship.
What if we’re considering divorce?
Discernment Counseling can help you make that choice with clarity.
Is sex therapy part of affair recovery?
Always. Sex therapy can address intimacy, desire mismatch, and sexual safety after betrayal. Couples therapy always includes sex therapy.
Can the partner who cheated change?
Yes! It might not feel like it right now, but anyone can change, and your relationship can grow stronger as you tackle this together.
How do I stop replaying the betrayal?
Trying to stop feeling a certain way is like trying to stop a moving train. Discovering your partner has cheated can trigger reactions similar to PTSD symptoms. Intense, repetitive feelings take precedence in our minds - they need to be felt and processed with a trained, supportive other before they can take a back seat.
The replaying? That’s your heart and mind working together to keep you safe from further harm. The goal isn’t to push it away or “jettison” it - it needs validation. At first, you’ll receive that validation from me, but once your relationship has de-escalated, I’ll pass the baton to your partner - and that’s when the real healing begins.
What if the cheating was long-term and secret?
Longer affairs increase the complexity of the healing process, but they don’t automatically determine a negative outcome. We’ll unpack the full story together, helping you create a shared narrative of what happened in your relationship. Sometimes, this work requires longer-term therapy, with understanding and trust growing along the way.
Online in MA, CT, WA, & FL
Couples Therapy for Infidelity, Betrayal, & Affair Recovery
When trust has been shattered by an affair, emotional affair, sexual secrecy, or repeated lying, it can feel like your entire relationship is hanging by a thread.
I provide online couples therapy for partners who are struggling to recover from infidelity, betrayal, disconnection, and high-conflict relationship patterns.
Together, we work to understand what happened, rebuild trust, and repair.
I work with couples throughout Massachusetts, including Boston, Cambridge, Wellesley, Newton, Needham, Natick, Weston, Dover, Revere, and surrounding communities.
I also work with couples struggling with infidelity in Darien, Connecticut.
In Washington I help clients seeking specialized online couples therapy for betrayal in Seattle, Washington and other locations where I am authorized to provide services.
Whether you're trying to survive the aftermath of an affair, struggling with constant arguments, feeling more like roommates than partners, or questioning whether your relationship can recover, you don't have to navigate this crisis alone. Online couples therapy allows you to get expert support from the privacy of your own home and begin addressing the painful patterns that keep the two of you stuck.