Heal from Infidelity (or other betrayals) with Emotionally Focused Therapy
We'll get real right from the start
In our first sessions, we’ll talk about the event or experience that caused the deep hurt. For example, this might be an instance of infidelity, feeling abandoned during a crisis, or another breach of trust that left one partner feeling unsupported or unsafe.
You’ll each have a chance to share your perspective, and we’ll focus on helping the injured partner express the emotional impact of the event—what it felt like, why it hurts, and how it affects their sense of safety in the relationship.
We need to ensure our sessions feel safe for both of you, because without that foundation, our work won’t succeed
Before diving deeper, we’ll work on creating a safe and supportive space. I’ll help you both regulate intense emotions so that we can explore this sensitive topic constructively.
For the injured partner, this means having the freedom to express pain without fear of being dismissed. For the partner who caused the injury, this means creating space to listen and begin to respond with understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Then we'll explore what each of you are thinking and feeling
This step is about getting to the heart of what’s really happening emotionally for both of you.
For the injured partner, we’ll explore the deep feelings behind the hurt, such as fear, sadness, or anger, and connect them to unmet needs (e.g., feeling safe, valued, or loved). For the partner who caused the injury, we’ll work on understanding their emotions—guilt, shame, or even fear—and help them see the injury from their partner’s perspective.
Through this process, we’ll uncover the attachment needs driving the pain, like a desire for reassurance, comfort, or closeness.
Next, the person who was injured will have the chance to truly be seen and heard in their hurt
The next step involves helping the partner who caused the injury respond with genuine empathy. This is where healing begins.
The injured partner will describe what they need to feel understood, such as having their emotions validated or hearing their partner acknowledge the depth of the hurt.
The partner who caused the injury will practice active listening, reflecting back what they’ve heard, and offering responses that show emotional attunement.
This isn’t about fixing things right away but about creating a sense of "You see me. You get it."
I'll guide the offending partner to offer an apology that works
We’ll work on crafting an apology that feels meaningful and healing for the injured partner. This isn’t a quick “I’m sorry,” but a deep acknowledgment of the hurt caused, the emotional impact, and a genuine commitment to change.
We’ll practice what this looks like in session—so both partners feel the sincerity and weight behind the apology.
Then we'll begin building your new, stronger relationship
In this stage, we focus on action. The partner who caused the injury will show through consistent behaviors that they are trustworthy and committed to the relationship. For the injured partner, we’ll explore what they need to feel safe again. This might include clear boundaries, reassurance, or simply seeing small daily efforts that show care.
Together, we’ll create new, positive patterns of interaction to replace old cycles of hurt and defensiveness.
This injury will become part of a new narrative
Finally, we’ll work to reframe the injury—not as the defining moment of your relationship but as something you’ve faced and grown stronger from together. This doesn’t erase the pain but helps transform it into a story of resilience: "We went through something difficult, and we came out stronger, more connected, and more understanding of each other."
My role is to guide you through this process with compassion, helping you navigate the pain and rediscover the connection and security that brought you together in the first place. Healing is possible—and I’m here to help you take the first steps.
An attachment injury can feel overwhelming, but it’s not the end. It’s an opportunity to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond
in ways you may never have imagined.
It might not feel like it right now but
healing from infidelity is possible.
Let me help you both navigate the rebuilding of your relationship.
Get 6-11 Weeks of Therapy in Just 1-2 Days
Why wait months when you can supercharge your relationship in just 1 or 2 days? A couples therapy intensive lets you fast-track what would normally take 6 to 11 weeks—resolving conflicts, rebuilding trust, and sparking new energy in your relationship.
Think of it as therapy on steroids (the good kind)—packed with insights, breakthroughs, and a massive boost to your connection. Get your best friend back and reignite the spark.
Finding Trust Again:
Healing After Infidelity or Betrayal
Kimberly Schildbach Therapy: Healing After Infidelity. Empowering Couples in Boston & Massachusetts.
I understand how you're trying really hard to keep it all together after your partner has had an affair.
Or maybe you're the one who stepped out of your value system and now you feel horrible.
You're both wondering if your relationship can be saved.
You may be feeling a range of emotions, from anger and sadness to confusion and grief. You might both feel anxious about the future of your relationship.
We know that with the right treatment - couples can become stronger after infidelity or betrayal.
I can help you transform this betrayal into a catalyst for growth and healing of you whole relationship. I guide motivated couples just like you through the healing process after infidelity.
With my specialized training as a Marriage and Family Therapist, an Emotionally Focused Therapist and my training in the Attachment Injury Resolution Model, I have helped many couples heal from infidelity. If you are both committed to healing and honesty, it is possible to come out of this experience a stronger couple than before.
Experience the transformative power of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Infidelity
EFT goes beyond simply addressing the act of infidelity. In our work together, we will delve into the deeper emotional needs and fears that led to a breakdown in your relationship.
EFT helps couples identify negative patterns that have developed over the course of your relationship and in response to the infidelity. These patterns can leave couples feeling unheard, misunderstood, and further disconnected, making it difficult to rebuild trust.
I will guide and encourage each of you to be more emotionally available and responsive, creating a safe space for open and honest communication.
EFT can support you in making choices that align with your own healing process, including the possibility of forgiveness.
EFT is the gold standard in couples therapy. It's extremely effective in relationships where there has been infidelity or other relationship wounds.
Let's transform your relationship together.
Your healing journey begins now
Questions and Objections
What if the affair is ongoing?
I will not work with a couple where one member is having an ongoing affair.
I cannot ask the other partner to reach out and risk connecting with their partner while an attachment injury is still happening.
What if you take my partner's side against me in couples counseling?
This is a valid concern. Friends and coworkers usually "take a side", leaving us feeling judged and ganged up on.
I am specifically trained to connect and understand each member's point of view. Each member has a valid opinion of what has happened. Our sessions will be balanced and fair with each of you having ample time to speak and feel validated.
I'm concerned you will tell us to give up or that I'm wrong? I don't want to feel judged.
You can expect me to be warm, friendly, and easy to talk to. My job is not to judge or tell you how to live your life.
My job is to help you both feel heard and to help you hear each other. Behind our actions can be painful emotions that need to be processed with an experienced guide.
Will I get to tell my side of the story?
We'll meet all together for our first session and then I'll have individual sessions with both of you. These sessions are important for me to assess whether their are contraindications for therapy (like an ongoing affair, active addictions, or intimate partner violence.) These sessions are also a time to discuss your goals for therapy and to get to know about your history in your family of origin and your history as a couple.
How do we start couples counseling? I'm ready and I don't want to wait long.
Contact me with any questions or concerns or to schedule your first therapy session. My weekly slots fill up quickly. Need support sooner? Explore my Couples Therapy Intensives: Mini-intensives for ongoing work, or one-day/two-day retreats.
Specializing in....
Couples Counseling
Online in all of Massachusetts
Break free from the cycle of defensiveness and distrust. Rebuild a stronger, more fulfilling connection. Find healing after infidelity or other relationship injuries.
Individual Therapy
Online in all of Massachusetts
Anxiety, depression, PTSD—Emotionally Focused Therapy can help you regain confidence and a secure sense of self.
For individuals, CEOs and busy professionals, I offer focused therapy intensives—no interruptions, no wasted time, just deep, impactful work.
Couples Therapy Intensives
Online in all of Massachusetts
Accelerate your healing journey. Intensive therapy options: choose from mini-intensives, one-day retreats, or two-day immersions. These concentrated sessions can be a standalone experience or a precursor to ongoing intensive therapy.