Kimberly Schildbach Therapy
The pain of infidelity won't just go away.
Let me help you both navigate the rebuilding of your relationship.
No more venting and stonewalling that leads you to that stuck place where you both feel hopeless and alone.
Therapy will provide a safe space, with an experienced facilitator, to express to each other what you're feeling.
What you can talk about you can heal.
We'll work together to make your relationship a safe and secure place again.
It might not feel like it right now but
healing from infidelity is possible.
Therapy for Infidelity
Kimberly Schildbach, online couples therapist in Boston and all of Massachusetts.
Infidelity is a betrayal of trust that can take time and effort to mend. However, it is possible to recover from infidelity and rebuild a strong and healthy relationship.
What do you wish for going forward? Take time to identify the hopes you have for you relationship - your deep longings for attachment and connection with your partner.
Trust building will take time and effort from both partners. Couples therapy can provide the time, away from the distractions of life, to focus on rebuilding the connection between the two of you.
With my specialized training as a Marriage and Family Therapist, an Emotionally Focused Therapist and my training in the Attachment Injury Resolution Model, I have helped many couples heal from infidelity. If you are both committed to healing and honesty, it is possible to come out of this experience a stronger couple than before.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) can be a valuable tool for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity.
EFT goes beyond simply addressing the act of infidelity. We will delve into the deeper emotional needs and fears.
EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns that have developed in response to the betrayal. These patterns often involve criticism, defensiveness, and withdrawal, making it difficult to have constructive conversations and rebuild trust.
EFT is rooted in attachment theory, which emphasizes the importance of secure emotional bonds in healthy relationships. Infidelity often disrupts this secure attachment, leaving the betrayed partner feeling unsafe and unloved. I will guide you in rebuilding your trust and safety by guiding and encouraging you to be more emotionally available, responsive, and attuned to each other's needs.
While EFT doesn't focus solely on forgiveness, it can create a safe space for you to explore this possibility. By fostering empathy and understanding for each other's emotions and perspectives, our work together can pave the way for forgiveness and reconciliation.
EFT is the gold standard in couples therapy. It's extremely effective in relationships where there has been infidelity or other attachment wounds. Let's work together to help you build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Questions and Objections
What if the affair is ongoing?
I will not work with a couple where one member is having an ongoing affair.
I cannot ask the other partner to reach out and risk connecting with their partner while an attachment injury is still happening.
What if you take my partner's side against me in couples counseling?
This is a valid concern. With our friends and coworkers usually people take "a side" leaving us feeling judged and ganged up on.
I am specifically trained to connect and understand each member's point of view. Each member has a valid opinion of what has happened. Our sessions will be balanced and fair with each of you having ample time to speak and feel validated.
I'm concerned you will tell us to give up or that I'm wrong? I don't want to feel judged.
You can expect me to be warm, friendly, and easy to talk to. My job is not to judge and not to tell you how to live you life.
My job is to help you both feel heard and to help you hear each other. Behind all the criticisms and hateful things we throw at our partners are emotions that need to be expressed and honored. I can process what has happened to you can express your pain, anger, and longings to your partner. If you are the partner who stepped out, I can help you learn to honestly tell your story and be present and attuned when your partner expresses their hurt and anger.
Will I get to tell my side of the story?
We'll meet all together for our first session and then I'll have individual sessions with both of you. These sessions are important for me to assess whether their are contraindications for therapy (like an ongoing affair, active addictions, or intimate partner violence.) These sessions are also a time to discuss your goals for therapy and to get to know about your history in your family or origin and your history as a couple.
How do we start couples counseling? I'm ready and I don't want to wait long.
Contact me with any questions or concerns or to schedule your first therapy session. If the stars align, I will have an opening for you now or in the near future.
Specializing in....
Couples Counseling
Online in all of Massachusetts
We are wired for connection and attachment but things can get in our way. Therapy can help you move from defensiveness and distrust too openness and emotional attunement.
Individual Trauma Focused Therapy
Online in all of Massachusetts
Anxiety, depression, trauma.
I use an Emotionally Focused Therapy lens to help you gain a secure and confident sense of self again.
Also Individual Therapy Intensives for accelerated healing.
Couples Therapy Intensives
Online in all of Massachusetts
Intensives allow you to jump start the therapy process. Choose a morning or afternoon 3 hour afternoon intensive. Intensives can be a one-off or a limited series. Couples say that their intensive turned their relationship around and started them on the road to healing.