You’ve been blindsided. You feel betrayed, fragmented, unmoored. This is serious—but it doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
Infidelity Treatment for Couples in Boston, Massachusetts
We'll get real right from the start
You found out about cheating, and you can’t stop replaying it — the shock, the questions, the late-night spirals. Maybe one or both of you want to try, but you don’t even know where to begin. You’re stuck in the same loops of blame, avoidance, and mistrust, afraid this will be the thing that defines your relationship forever.
Right from the start, we’ll talk about the infidelity.
We’ll focus first on helping the injured partner voice the emotional impact of what happened—what it felt like, why it hurts so deeply, and how it’s shaken their sense of safety in the relationship.
We’ll also make room for the shame, guilt, and fear of the partner who caused the injury—because naming that pain, rather than avoiding it, is a crucial step toward repair.
We need to ensure our sessions feel safe for both of you, because without that foundation, our work won’t succeed
Before diving deeper, I'll work on creating a way for the two to talk about your hurts without resorting to escalating or retreating. I’ll help you both regulate intense emotions so that we can explore this sensitive topic constructively.
For the injured partner, this means having the freedom to express pain without fear of being dismissed. For the partner who caused the injury, this means creating space to listen and begin to respond with understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Then we'll dive deep into what each of you are feeling
This step is about getting to the heart of what’s really happening emotionally for both of you.
For the injured partner, we’ll explore the deep feelings behind the hurt, such as fear, sadness, or anger, and connect them to unmet needs (e.g., feeling safe, valued, or loved). For the partner who caused the injury, we’ll work on understanding their emotions—guilt, shame, or even fear—and help them see the injury from their partner’s perspective.
Through this process, we’ll uncover the attachment needs driving the pain, like a desire for reassurance, comfort, or closeness.
Next, the person who was injured will have the chance to truly be seen and heard in their hurt
The next step involves helping the partner who caused the injury respond with genuine empathy. This is where healing begins.
The injured partner will describe what they need to feel understood, such as having their emotions validated or hearing their partner acknowledge the depth of the hurt.
The partner who caused the injury will practice active listening, reflecting back what they’ve heard, and offering responses that show emotional attunement.
This isn’t about fixing things right away but about creating a sense of "You see me. You get it."
I'll guide the offending partner to offer an apology that works
We’ll work on crafting an apology that feels meaningful and healing for the injured partner. This isn’t a quick “I’m sorry,” but a deep acknowledgment of the hurt caused, the emotional impact, and a genuine commitment to change.
We’ll practice what this looks like in session—so both partners feel the sincerity and weight behind the apology.
Then we'll begin building your new, stronger relationship
In this stage, we focus on action. The partner who caused the injury will show through consistent behaviors that they are trustworthy and committed to the relationship. For the injured partner, we’ll explore what they need to feel safe again. This might include clear boundaries, reassurance, or simply seeing small daily efforts that show care.
Together, we’ll create new, positive patterns of interaction to replace old cycles of hurt and defensiveness.
This injury will become part of your story
Finally, we’ll work to reframe the injury—not as the defining moment of your relationship but as something you’ve faced and grown stronger from together. This doesn’t erase the pain but helps transform it into a story of resilience: "We went through something difficult, and we came out stronger, more connected, and more understanding of each other."
You're a team again, and that's the best feeling in the world.
Online Intensive Couples Therapy for Infidelity in Boston, Massachusetts
When infidelity or betrayal comes to light, life can feel like it’s spinning out of control. You’re triggered, sleepless, and caught in painful loops of blame, defensiveness, and confusion.
A Couples Therapy Intensive helps you find relief now—a way to pause the chaos, catch your breath, and begin rebuilding emotional safety.
With infidelity and other serious relationship injuries, there’s often more work ahead. But an intensive gives you a powerful jump-start—a chance to stabilize, understand what’s happening, and take the first real steps toward healing.
Having a skilled therapist hold that level of distress with both of you can make all the difference. It might even stop the spiral toward separation—or other painful outcomes you both desperately want to avoid.
How Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy helps with infidelity
When infidelity shatters your trust, you don’t just lose faith in your partner — you lose your footing inside the relationship.
The person who once felt like your safest place is now the source of your deepest pain.
EFT, or Emotionally Focused Therapy, helps you rebuild that foundation by getting underneath the defenses, the anger, and the shutdown.
In EFT, we slow everything down. Together, we map the cycle that keeps pulling you both back into pain — the accusations, the withdrawal, the silence. We uncover what’s really happening underneath: the grief, fear, and desperate longing to feel safe again. When couples finally name those raw emotions — not the rage, but the hurt beneath it — something shifts. You stop fighting the symptoms and start healing the wound -- together.
Over time, this work softens the pain and restores safety where it was lost. The walls begin to lower. The reactivity quiets. What was once constant threat becomes a place where vulnerability can live again. That’s the heart of EFT — helping you both feel seen and held enough to rebuild trust for real.
The Process of Infidelity Counseling
Session one:
couple together
We’ll meet together, all three of us. I’ll briefly explain how I work—and then we’ll get started.
Infidelity shakes everything, but it doesn’t have to end everything. In that first session, we’ll focus on what’s happening right now: how you each feel, what you know, and the emotional impact of the betrayal.
There’s no rushing this part—just space for honesty, pain, and compassion. I know how raw it feels to even sit in the same room after trust has been broken.
Session two and three: individual sessions
In sessions two and three, I’ll meet with each of you individually. This gives me a chance to learn more about your family background, relationship history, goals, and concerns.
These one-on-one sessions help me build a strong, trusting connection with both of you, as I work in support of your relationship.
Session four and beyond:
couple together
In later sessions, we’ll look at the patterns that existed before the affair—and the ones keeping you stuck now. These conversations can be raw, but I’ll help you both feel safer as you face them together.
I'll help you express your pain without defensiveness or withdrawal. As you start to see how your reactions affect each other, we’ll soften the cycle and create space for real repair.
Many couples move through this process and build a connection that’s more honest and alive than before.
FAQs for Therapy for Infidelity in Boston, Massachusetts
What is infidelity therapy and does it work?
Infidelity therapy is focused, evidence-based work that helps couples repair trust, rebuild safety, and make sense of what happened. It’s not just about talking through the details of the affair; it’s about healing the emotional bond that betrayal broke.
EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) — is a well-researched method proven to help couples move from blame and shutdown into understanding and connection. Studies show that EFT helps roughly 70–75% of couples move from distress to secure attachment, and the gains last long after therapy ends.¹
Infidelity therapy gives you structure, safety, and a clear path forward — so you can stop spinning in pain and start rebuilding what was lost, one honest conversation at a time.
¹ Research reference: Johnson, S.M. et al., Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 2005; extensive outcome research confirms EFT’s effectiveness in reducing relationship distress and increasing emotional security.
How soon should we start therapy after discovering an affair?
Start as soon as you can breathe through the first days. Early, guided containment prevents escalation. If you’re in crisis, we prioritize safety and stabilization first.
Can one partner attend and still get help?
I do offer individual therapy for anyone with relationship issues. It can help clarify whether you want to try repair, work on grief and trauma, or prepare for separation. Couples therapy is best if both partners have a shared goal of reunification.
Do you take insurance?
I do not. I am not in network with any insurance companies. Most (if not all) of insurance carriers do not deem couples therapy as "medically necessary" and will not reimburse. If you would like to apply for reimbursement I can provide a superbill with the Z code: Z63.0. Reimbursement is not guaranteed.
Will you be “neutral” or take sides?
I won’t play referee. I’m pro-truth, pro-healing. The truth is that good people have affairs, yell, hurt their partner, pursue for closeness or turn off and retreat. We impact each other. So sometimes you might see me pushing the partner who cheated to own their actions and speak about the hurt underneath and sometimes you'll see me pushing the betrayed partner to express needs without collapsing into shutdown or retaliation. I’ll be working in service of your relationship. At times, you might not agree with my approach—and that’s okay. We’ll talk about it openly, just like everything else.
How long does affair recovery take?
There’s no fixed number. Short-term crisis work can be 6–12 sessions. Deep repair often takes months. Many couples find a measurable shift within 3 months with consistent therapy.
Should we tell friends/family?
I generally advise against sharing too many details right now. The recovery process benefits from privacy and containment.
It’s important to have support, but choose wisely—one trusted friend, mentor, or a support group can be enough. Well-meaning friends and family often bring strong opinions or pop-culture ideas about what the “right” thing to do is, which can cloud your process rather than help it.
You need space to heal, not more noise. Thoughtful, balanced support will serve you far better than a chorus of outside voices.
Is infidelity always sexual?
No. Emotional affairs, secret financial betrayals, and sustained deception are also forms of betrayal that wound the attachment system.
Can couples survive an affair?
Emphatically - yes!
How do you handle ongoing contact with the affair partner?
In EFT, safety and trust are the foundation for healing. We work with each couple to create a transparency plan that fits your situation.
For some, strict no-contact rules are necessary. For others—like a coworker or shared responsibilities—no contact may be more complicated. The key is that you decide together what feels safe.
Healing requires facing these difficult conversations and making intentional choices. This may include temporarily allowing access to phone messages, calendars, or other forms of transparency to help the injured partner release anxiety and rebuild a sense of security. These measures are not permanent—they are tools to restore safety and trust so the relationship can begin to repair.
What if the affair involved sex addiction or substance use?
I can’t ask one partner to open their heart if the other still has something else to turn to when things get hard—whether that’s porn, substances, or secrecy.
Sex addiction or substance use is our cue to go slowly before diving into the deeper emotional work. The first goal is transparency and stability, so both partners can begin to feel safe. From there, we work toward making your relationship—not the addiction—the place you both turn to for comfort, stress, and connection.
Can couples therapy cause more harm?
If done poorly, yes. That’s why you want a therapist skilled in betrayal trauma — someone who can hold safety, limit pushing you past your windows of tolerance (stretching them - yes), and structure the work with an evidence--based model (EFT.)
Do you offer intensive sessions?
Yes. Intensives are a powerful way to jump-start healing when the damage is fresh or time is limited. They can stop the spiral, create safety, and begin rebuilding trust—but they don’t replace weekly or biweekly therapy, especially after infidelity. It can halt the spiral and kickstart healing—helping prevent separation or divorce before patterns become entrenched.
How can couples therapy rebuild trust after lying?
Trust is rebuilt slowly and concretely. It grows through transparency and consistent behavior. In EFT, we treat our sessions as a laboratory for learning new ways to respond—staying present rather than retreating into guilt, shame, or defensiveness.
Practical steps might include:
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Being predictable and reliable with your partner
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Allowing access to phone messages, calendars, or other sources of anxiety for the injured partner
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Protecting the tender space in their heart that was wounded by the betrayal
Will I have to forgive?
Forgiveness is emotional, not cognitive. Forgiveness is a byproduct of connection and repair, not a prerequisite. It’s the emotional space that opens when both partners consistently show care, accountability, and attunement. Some couples reach it sooner; for others, it comes later—or gradually, in layers. The key is creating a relationship where forgiveness can happen naturally, rather than being demanded or forced.
Can we reunite and do couples therapy after separation?
Yes — if both partners commit the shared goal of repair work.
How do I know if I picked the right therapist?
Look for experience with betrayal trauma, clear boundaries, and trauma-informed language. Look for a couples therapist not just a therapist that "sees couples". Repetitions matter in couples therapy—more reps mean more experience, which means better help for your relationship.
What if we’re considering divorce?
Discernment Counseling can help you make that choice with clarity.
Is sex therapy part of affair recovery?
Often. Sex therapy can address intimacy, desire mismatch, and sexual safety after betrayal. Couples therapy includes sex therapy.
Can the partner who cheated change?
Yes! It might not feel like it right now, but anyone can change, and your relationship can grow stronger as you tackle this together.
How do I stop replaying the betrayal?
Trying to stop feeling a certain way is like trying to stop a moving train. Discovering your partner has cheated can trigger reactions similar to PTSD symptoms. Intense, repetitive feelings take precedence in our minds—they need to be felt and processed with a trained, supportive other before they can take a back seat.
The replaying? That’s your heart and mind working together to keep you safe from further harm. The goal isn’t to push it away or “jettison” it—it needs validation. At first, you’ll receive that validation from me, but once your relationship has de-escalated, I’ll pass the baton to your partner—and that’s when the real healing begins.
What if the cheating was long-term and secret?
Longer affairs increase the complexity of the healing process, but they don’t automatically determine a negative outcome. We’ll unpack the full story together, helping you create a shared narrative of what happened in your relationship.
Sometimes, this work requires longer-term therapy, but understanding and connection can still grow along the way.