When you're unsure - and each of you wants something different.
Right now, you’re caught in a painful in-between.
One of you is ready to dive in and fix the marriage. You just need a way forward.
One of you is leaning out, unsure if the relationship can be saved. Maybe you’ve already filed for divorce, or separation feels like the only option.
Neither of you wants to spend months in therapy if it’s not going to lead to real change. You both need clarity about whether this relationship can be saved.
You need a trained professional to help you sort it all out. Traditional couples therapy isn’t designed for this kind of uncertainty - but Discernment Counseling is.
You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck
in the In-Between
Couples Therapy Services in all of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Washington, and Florida.
Discernment Counseling is a limited, up-to-five-session process (ending when you've both come to a decision) that meets you where you're at and helps you move forward. You don’t want to muddle through months of couples therapy when one or both of you aren’t sure, but you also don’t want to break up and have regrets. It’s about finding the path that’s right for both of you, knowing you’ve put in the work so your decision is clear.
Discernment Counseling helps you find a greater understanding of what is happening and has happened in your relationship, your contributions to the patterns that have been unsatisfying, and a clear direction you would like your relationship to take.
Discernment Counseling is not couples therapy - it is a structured process to help you decide.
The goal is not to fix your marital issues but to determine if they can be resolved - no blame, no judgment, just clarity on what you decide.
In Discernment Counseling, there are three possible paths I will lead you to consider:
Boston Discernment Counseling
Do nothing / continue as you’ve been
You both decide to neither divorce nor separate, but also not actively work on the relationship through couples therapy.
Divorce or break up
You agree as a couple that divorce or breaking up is the most appropriate path and begin moving forward with a better understanding of what has happened.
Commit to healing the relationship for six months
Both partners agree to take divorce or breakup off the table and fully dedicate themselves to six months of couples therapy (with me or another therapist). This means a 100% commitment to the relationship and to the work of repairing it. Therapy follows a clear agenda, with specific goals for each partner’s personal growth.
Each partner commits one session at a time. After each session, you both decide where you stand and whether you want to continue. The goal is clarity and confidence in what you'd like to do next.
If you’re here, you’re probably in limbo - and it’s exhausting.
Waking up every day not knowing if you’re staying or going. Replaying the same conversations. Feeling stuck between “we can’t keep doing this” and “I don’t know what to do.”
Discernment counseling works. It really does. But when you’re in this much pain, dragging it out week after week can start to feel like more limbo instead of less. Sometimes you don’t need more time.
You need a decision.
That’s where the Discernment Counseling Intensive comes in.
Instead of stretching this out, we meet for two extended sessions over a short period of time. Enough space to actually slow down, go deep, and get honest - with yourself and with each other - without losing momentum.
This isn’t rushed.
But it’s also not indefinite.
By the end, you’ll have real clarity about where you stand and what comes next - whether that’s committing to repair the relationship or moving toward separation with confidence.
Learn more on my Discernment Counseling Intensive page.
Discernment Counseling Intensive: When You Can’t Wait Weeks: 2 Days to Clarity
Online Discernment Counseling in all of MA, CT, WA, and FL.
Listen as Dr. Bill Doherty, founder of Discernment Counseling, explains the process and how it helps couples on the brink gain clarity and direction.
Is Discernment Counseling right for us?
Discernment Counseling for Couples Is a Good Fit If…
-
Either partner is unsure – When one partner is leaning out of the relationship while the other wants to stay, Discernment Counseling provides a structured space to explore options.
-
Clarity before commitment – Instead of rushing into therapy or divorce, couples gain a deeper understanding of their issues and whether they can be resolved.
-
No pressure to fix or end – The goal isn’t to solve marital problems but to determine if they can be solved.
-
Guided by an expert – I'm certified in Discernment Counseling and work exclusively with couples.
-
Time-limited approach – With a maximum of five sessions, it’s a focused way to make a thoughtful, informed decision.
-
Personal and relational insight – Even if you ultimately separate, both partners gain a clearer understanding of their relationship patterns and how they arrived at this point. This helps if you decide to stay in your current relationship or any relationships you have in the future.
Discernment Counseling for Couples Is Not a Good Fit If…
-
One partner has already made a final decision to divorce – If a spouse is fully committed to leaving, Discernment Counseling isn’t necessary. Individual therapy for each partner is more appropriate.
-
Coercion is involved – If one partner is pressuring the other to participate, the process won’t be effective.
-
There is danger of domestic violence – Safety must come first, and discernment therapy is not appropriate in abusive relationships.
-
Both partners are fully committed to working on the marriage – If both want to repair the relationship, traditional couples therapy is the better choice.
-
One partner is unwilling to engage – If a spouse refuses to reflect or participate meaningfully, the process won’t be productive.
-
The primary goal is to ‘fix’ the other person – Discernment therapy is about understanding the relationship, not placing blame or forcing change.
Frequently Asked Questions about Discernment Counseling
What is your fee for Discernment Counseling?
The initial session is a 2-hour deep dive and is $900. Follow-up sessions are 80 minutes and $700 each.
If you're looking an accelerated format - see my Discernment Counseling Intensive page.
Do you offer individual Discernment Counseling?
Please contact me to discuss.
What if one of us has already decided to leave?
If one partner has fully made up their mind to leave, Discernment Counseling may not be helpful. Instead, mediation or a therapist specializing in separation might be a better fit.
Should you do couples counseling if you're thinking of divorce?
If you're unsure about staying in your relationship, Discernment Counseling is a better option than traditional couples therapy. Unlike standard couples counseling, which focuses on improving the relationship, Discernment Counseling helps you decide whether to work on the relationship or move toward divorce. If one of you is leaning out, couples therapy won’t be effective. Discernment Counseling provides a structured space to make a clear decision - either committing fully to couples therapy or choosing to separate.
Can Discernment Counseling help us stay together?
It’s not designed to fix relationship problems but rather to help couples determine if they are willing to work on the relationship. If both partners choose to commit to rebuilding, they can transition into couples therapy.
Is it Discernment Counseling judgmental?
No, Discernment Counseling is a non-judgmental process. The goal is to understand each person’s perspective and offer clarity, not push a specific outcome.
What if we decide to separate?
If separation is the decision, Discernment Counseling can help partners navigate the process with greater understanding and respect, reducing unnecessary conflict.
What if we still feel unsure after five sessions of Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is designed to be short-term - up to five sessions in ongoing work, or a two-session container in a Discernment Counseling Intensive. Both are time-limited by design, balancing urgency with space to really think.
About 12% of couples choose to maintain the status quo afterward - and that’s a valid outcome. If you’re still uncertain, there’s no need to force a decision. Taking more time to process is always an option.