Right now, you’re caught in a painful in-between.
One of you wants to save the marriage. You’re ready to work on it, but your partner isn’t sure they want to stay.
One of you is ready to leave. You may have talked to an attorney, filed, or started planning for separation - but part of you still wonders, What if we could have fixed this?
You’re both exhausted. You’ve had the same conversations, the same fights, and the same promises. You don't know how to move forward without making things worse.
You’re afraid of regretting your decision. Staying hurts. Leaving hurts. And neither of you wants to make a life-changing decision you’ll wish you could undo.
As a Certified Discernment Counselor, I support couples at this exact crossroads decide whether to move toward repair or toward ending the relationship.
You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck
in the In-Between
Certified Discernment Counseling in Boston and all of Massachusetts
One day you're sure you're done, and the next you're remembering why you fell in love. One day you're thinking, I can't do this anymore, and the next you're wondering if you really want to walk away from the life you've built together.
Maybe one of you desperately wants to rebuild while the other is almost sure they want to leave - but that tiny piece of doubt won't go away. Or maybe you're the one caught in the middle, swinging between I need to get out and I don't want to lose us, sometimes within the same day.
You are exhausted from trying to figure out what you want, terrified of making the wrong decision, and heartbroken that the person you love may not want the same future you do. You may be angry, lonely, grieving, hopeful, and afraid all at once, with no idea whether you're fighting for your marriage or fighting against something that has already ended.
When you’re caught between staying and leaving, the constant uncertainty can feel exhausting.
As a Certified Discernment Counselor, I can guide you through a supportive, structured process designed to help you gain clarity and decide what comes next.
You don’t have to live in uncertainty forever.
When the limbo you're in is too painful to stay in.
Discernment Counseling in Boston, Massachusetts
You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck Between “Stay” and “Go.”
There is another possibility: getting clear enough to make a decision you can actually live with. Discernment Counseling is for couples who have reached the point where one partner is leaning toward leaving, the other is hoping to stay, and both are exhausted from living in the space between those two realities.
I help you look at the whole picture, not just the latest fight or the reasons you are angry with each other today. We go back to where your relationship began, what brought you together, what changed, what has been lost, and what has kept you connected despite everything that has happened. We look honestly at what staying would mean and what leaving would mean - not only for the two of you, but for your children, your finances, your family, your friendships, your home, and the life you have built together.
The goal is not to convince you to stay and it is not to convince you to leave. It is to help you get out of the resentment and uncertainty long enough to see the choices in front of you clearly, consider what each one would ask of you, and understand what you may be gaining or giving up with each path.
Discernment Counseling is limited to up to five sessions, and it ends when you have reached a decision about what comes next. You may decide to continue living as you are for now. You may decide that divorce or separation is the right path. Or you may decide to take divorce off the table for six months and give the relationship a real, 100% commitment through couples therapy, with clear goals and a willingness to find out what is possible.
You want to know that you looked at the decision from every angle, understood what was at stake, and gave yourself a real chance to be sure.
Frequently Asked Questions about Discernment Counseling in Boston, Massachusetts
Do you offer individual Discernment Counseling?
Please contact me to discuss.
What if one of us has already decided to leave?
If one partner has fully made up their mind to leave, Discernment Counseling may not be helpful. Instead, mediation or a therapist specializing in separation might be a better fit.
Should you do couples counseling if you're thinking of divorce?
If you're unsure about staying in your relationship, Discernment Counseling is a better option than traditional couples therapy. Discernment Counseling is the counseling you do before the divorce. Unlike standard couples counseling, which focuses on improving the relationship, Discernment Counseling helps you decide whether to work on the relationship or move toward divorce. If one of you is leaning out, couples therapy won’t be effective. Discernment Counseling provides a structured space to make a clear decision - either committing fully to couples therapy or choosing to separate.
Can Discernment Counseling help us stay together?
It’s not designed to fix relationship problems but rather to help couples determine if they are willing to work on the relationship. If both partners choose to commit to rebuilding, they can transition into couples therapy.
What if we decide to separate?
If separation is the decision, Discernment Counseling can help partners navigate the process with greater understanding and respect, reducing unnecessary conflict, and setting you up for a more collaborative divorce process.
What if we still feel unsure after five sessions of Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is designed to be short-term - typically up to five sessions. It is time-limited by design, balancing urgency with enough space to really think.
One of the options is to maintain the status quo and do nothing. But most couples want to move out of limbo, and this time limit helps make that possible.
For Couples Considering Divorce
Discernment Counseling for Couples Considering Divorce in MA, CT, WA, & FL
I provide online Discernment Counseling for couples in Boston, Cambridge, and throughout Massachusetts who are questioning whether to stay together, separate, or divorce.
Discernment Counseling offers a structured, supportive space to slow down, gain clarity, and explore your options- especially when one partner is unsure about continuing the relationship.
Serving couples throughout Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, Arlington, Belmont, Watertown, Wellesley, Worcester, Quincy, Acton, Andover, and across Massachusetts.
Connecticut – Hartford – New Haven – Stamford – Norwalk – Greenwich – Westport – Fairfield – Glastonbury – Simsbury – throughout Connecticut
Washington – Seattle – Bellevue – Redmond – Kirkland – Tacoma – Spokane – Olympia – Bellingham – Vancouver – throughout Washington
Florida – Miami – Tampa – Orlando – Jacksonville – St. Petersburg – Naples – Sarasota – Boca Raton – Fort Lauderdale – throughout Florida
You don't need to stay in limbo - you have options when you're considering divorce but unsure.