Right now, you’re caught in a painful in-between.
Online Couples Therapy Services in all of Greenwich, Connecticut
Both of you might be feeling stuck, ready to throw in the towel, or trapped in a perpetual limbo. That’s normal. And there’s a proven way through it - Discernment Counseling.
By meeting together and separately, I’ll ask the questions that get you thinking about where you really stand. Our time together won’t be about fixing anything - it’s about seeing clearly: do you have the oomph to try, or is it time to move on?
If you decide to separate, what you learn here will help you recognize the patterns that led you here and give you insight that will strengthen every relationship you have going forward.
Why go at this alone when there’s a structured, supportive path to help both of you feel confident and settled in your decision?
Reach out and we'll get started.
Discernment Counseling is a short, focused process - usually up to five sessions - designed to meet you where you are and help you move forward. You don’t want to waste months in therapy if one or both of you aren’t sure. But you also don’t want to walk away and wonder, “Did we give it everything?”
This is about finding the path that’s right for both of you - knowing that whatever decision you make, it’s informed, intentional, and clear.
Discernment Counseling isn’t about fixing your marriage. It’s about understanding what’s happening, how you’ve both contributed to the patterns that aren’t working, and deciding where to go next - without blame or pressure.
At the end of the process, there are three possibilities:
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Keep things as they are: You may choose to neither separate nor start therapy, continuing as you’ve been while fully understanding what that means.
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Divorce or break up: You agree that ending the relationship is the healthiest path and move forward with confidence and understanding.
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Commit to repairing the relationship: You both take divorce or breakup off the table and commit to six months of structured couples therapy. This means full investment in the relationship and in yourself, with clear goals for growth and change.
Discernment Counseling gives you the space to see the truth of your relationship and make the decision that’s right for both of you - without spinning your wheels or settling for uncertainty.
Give yourself a proven process to decide.
Not Sure if You Should Stay or Go? Discernment Counseling Helps You Decide This Most Important Decision with Clarity - Not Guesswork.
Discernment Counseling for Couples Is a Good Fit If…
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Either partner is unsure – When one partner is leaning out of the relationship while the other wants to stay, discernment counseling provides a structured space to explore options.
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You want clarity before commitment – Instead of rushing into therapy or divorce, couples gain a deeper understanding of their issues and whether they can be resolved.
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You want no pressure to fix the problems now – The goal isn’t to solve marital problems but to determine if you want to try.
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You want to be guided by an expert – I'm a Certified Discernment Counselor with the experience to help you make your best decision.
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You would like to opt for a time-limited approach – With a maximum of five sessions, it’s a focused way to make a thoughtful, informed decision.
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You want personal and relational insight from the process – Even if you ultimately separate, both of you will gain a clearer understanding of you relationship patterns and how you arrived at this point. If you agree to couples therapy - you'll have gained valuable insight that will jump-start your work in therapy.
Discernment Counseling for Couples Is Not a Good Fit If…
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If one of you has already made a final decision to divorce – If a spouse is fully committed to leaving, discernment counseling isn’t necessary. Individual therapy for each partner is more appropriate.
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If there is coercion – If one partner is pressuring the other to participate, the process won’t be effective.
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When there is danger of domestic violence – Safety must come first, and discernment therapy is not appropriate in abusive relationships.
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If you're both fully committed to working on the marriage – If both want to repair the relationship, traditional couples therapy is the better choice.
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If one of you is unwilling to engage – If a spouse refuses to reflect or participate meaningfully, the process won’t be productive.
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If the primary goal is to ‘fix’ the other person – Discernment therapy is about understanding the relationship and yourselves, not placing blame or forcing change.
Listen as Dr. Bill Doherty, founder of Discernment Counseling, explains the process and how it helps couples on the brink gain clarity and direction.
Frequently Asked Questions about Discernment Counseling in Greenwich, Connecticut
What is your fee for Discernment Counseling?
The initial session is a 2-hour deep dive and is $900. Follow-up sessions are 80 minutes and $700 each.
Will you bill my insurance?
I am not in-network with any insurance companies and do not bill insurance directly. However, I can provide you with a monthly statement called a superbill that you can submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement.
The superbill will include the diagnosis code Z63.0 – Problems in Primary Relationship. Please note that most insurance plans do not reimburse for couples therapy or discernment counseling. It’s important to check with your insurance provider ahead of time to understand what they may cover.
What if one of us has already decided to leave?
If one partner has fully made up their mind to leave, discernment counseling may not be helpful. Instead, mediation or a therapist specializing in separation might be a better fit.
Should you do couples counseling if you're thinking of divorce?
If you're unsure about staying in your relationship, discernment counseling is a better option than traditional couples therapy. Unlike standard couples counseling, which focuses on improving the relationship, discernment counseling helps you decide whether to work on the relationship or move toward divorce. If one of you is leaning out, couples therapy won’t be effective. Discernment counseling provides a structured space to make a clear decision—either committing fully to couples therapy or choosing to separate.
Can discernment counseling help us stay together?
It’s not designed to fix relationship problems but rather to help couples determine if they are willing to work on the relationship. If both partners choose to commit to rebuilding, they can transition into couples therapy.
Is it discernment counseling judgmental?
No, discernment counseling is a non-judgmental process. The goal is to understand each person’s perspective and offer clarity, not push a specific outcome.
What if we decide to separate?
If separation is the decision, Discernment Counseling can help partners navigate the process with greater understanding and respect, reducing unnecessary conflict during the divorce process.
What if we still feel unsure after five sessions of discernment counseling?
Discernment Counseling is designed to be a short-term process, with a five-session limit to create a balance between urgency and thoughtful reflection. About 12% of couples choose to maintain the status quo afterward, which is completely valid. If you're still uncertain, there’s no need to rush - taking more time to process is always an option.
