You’re in Different Places—and You Can’t See the Next Step.
Does this sound like you?
You’re exhausted from circling the same fights, unsure whether there’s anything left to repair or if you’re just prolonging the hurt.
You feel torn between staying and leaving, longing for clarity but overwhelmed by the fear of making the wrong choice.
You’re living in a tense, fragile space, where every conversation feels loaded and you’re both bracing for what might come next.
You’re grieving the relationship you hoped you’d have, wondering if change is still possible or if it’s time to let go with intention and care.
How Discernment Counseling Works in Worcester, Massachusetts.
A Short, Focused Process
Discernment counseling stays intentionally brief — up to 5 sessions — so you can find clarity without being stuck in the exhausting in-between.
A Step Before Couples Therapy or Divorce
This is the structured pause that helps you understand what’s happening between you, what you truly want, and what needs to change — before deciding whether to continue, separate, or begin serious couples therapy.
The Three Possible Paths
Throughout the discernment process you'll be considering 3 paths
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Maintain the status quo (no major changes for now)
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Move toward separation or divorce with more clarity and less conflict
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Commit to 6 months of “all-in” couples therapy, with divorce off the table during that time (with me or another therapist)
What Sessions Look Like
I meet with you together and individually. You’ll each have space to reflect deeply on how the relationship reached this point, how you’ve contributed to the patterns between you, and what changes you’d need to make — whether to heal this relationship or to grow in a future one.
A Proven, Research-Backed Process
Discernment counseling is grounded in research from the Doherty Institute. Their data show that after completing this process:
About 42% of couples choose separation or divorce
Around 47–51% choose to pursue couples therapy
Roughly 12% choose to maintain the status quo for the moment
And approximately 40% of couples who choose therapy remain married two years later.
A Respectful Path Toward Clarity
The goal isn’t to push you toward staying or leaving — it’s to help you make a thoughtful, grounded decision with as little regret as possible. You’ll walk away with greater clarity, self-awareness, and confidence in whatever path you choose.
Discernment Counseling is a good fit for couples who are....
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Feeling stuck and unsure whether to stay in the relationship or consider separation.
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Experiencing repeated conflict without resolution, leaving both partners exhausted and frustrated.
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Struggling to make a clear decision about the future of your marriage or partnership.
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Open to exploring change and understanding each partner’s role in the relationship dynamics.
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Seeking guidance before committing to intensive couples therapy or taking steps toward divorce.
Discernment Counseling is not a good fit for couples who are.....
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Experiencing current abuse or safety concerns—physical, emotional, or sexual.
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One or both partners are unwilling to engage in reflection or honest conversation.
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Already committed to separation or divorce and seeking only procedural guidance.
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Looking for quick fixes rather than deeper understanding and exploration.
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Expecting therapy to force reconciliation—discernment is about clarity, not guaranteed outcomes.
Listen as Dr. Bill Doherty, founder of Discernment Counseling, explains the process and how it helps couples on the brink gain clarity and direction.
Frequently Asked Questions about Discernment Counseling in Worcester, Massachusetts
What is your fee for Discernment Counseling?
The initial session is a 2-hour deep dive and is $800. Follow-up sessions are 80 minutes and $600 each.
Will you bill my insurance?
I am not in-network with any insurance companies.
What if one of us has already decided to leave?
If one partner has fully made up their mind to leave, discernment counseling may not be helpful. Instead, mediation or a therapist specializing in separation might be a better fit.
Should you do couples counseling if you're thinking of divorce?
If you're unsure about staying in your relationship, discernment counseling is a better option than traditional couples therapy. Unlike standard couples counseling, which focuses on improving the relationship, discernment counseling helps you decide whether to work on the relationship or move toward divorce. If one of you is leaning out, couples therapy won’t be effective. Discernment counseling provides a structured space to make a clear decision. I ask guided questions, meet with each of you individually, and help you clarify and discern your next steps together. Couples may decide to fully recommit to a new round of couples therapy—knowing the personal and relational growth each partner will need to lean into with divorce off the table (whether that work is with me or another therapist). They may choose to keep things as they are for now, or they may decide to separate.
Can discernment counseling help us stay together?
It’s not designed to fix relationship problems but rather to help couples determine if they are willing to work on the relationship. If both partners choose to commit to rebuilding, they can transition into couples therapy either with me or another provider.
What if we decide to separate?
If separation becomes the choice, I can help guide you in having honest, respectful conversations with your partner and support both of you in processing the news. Discernment counseling is time-limited; ongoing support after deciding to separate is best provided through individual therapy for divorce. The process gives couples a clear, structured way to understand their own feelings—and their partner’s—so that decisions aren’t made in confusion or blame. It helps you move through separation with more respect, understanding, and intention, laying the groundwork for healthier future relationships and smoother co-parenting.
What if we still feel unsure after five sessions of discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling is a short-term, focused process, usually capped at five sessions, giving couples just enough space to reflect without getting stuck in uncertainty. About 12% of couples decide to maintain the status quo, and that’s completely okay—sometimes the most important step is simply pausing to think and feel. If you’re still unsure after the process, taking extra time to process and reflect is always an option.
Discernment Counseling in Worcester, MA
A structured, short-term process to help you find clarity when you’re unsure whether to stay together or separate
If you and your partner are feeling stuck, unsure, or emotionally exhausted, Discernment Counseling in Worcester, MA offers a clear path forward. This is a specialized, research-based approach designed specifically for couples on the brink of separation, divorce, or big relationship decisions. Instead of rushing into couples therapy or ending the relationship too quickly, discernment counseling helps you slow down, understand what’s really happening, and decide your next step with intention.
As an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist trained in Discernment Counseling, I guide couples through a focused process of up to five structured sessions. You’ll meet with me together and individually so we can explore what’s brought you to this point, how each of you has contributed to the current dynamic, and what changes might be possible—either in this relationship or in future ones.
