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Online in all of MA, CT, FL

Online Couples Therapy in New Haven, CT 

When love feels impossible — but you’re not ready to give up

If you’re tired of just getting by together, online couples therapy in New Haven, CT can help you find your
way back to closeness and trust.

You don’t come to couples therapy because things are “fine.” You come because you’ve hit a wall — and you’re not sure what to do next.


Maybe every conversation ends in misunderstanding or silence. Maybe the distance between you feels unbearable. Or maybe something devastating has happened — a betrayal, a discovery, a loss of trust — and you can’t imagine how to move forward, but you can’t quite walk away either.

I specialize in working with couples in crisis — those standing at that line between staying and leaving. The ones who still have a flicker of hope under all the exhaustion.

My work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) — a research-based, structured approach that helps couples slow down, uncover what’s actually driving the conflict, and learn how to reach for each other again.

This is not a “communication skills” class. It’s not about fixing the surface. It’s about understanding why, deep down, you keep missing each other — and how to stop.

What We Do in EFT
(and Why It Works)

Online Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy in
New Haven and all across Connecticut

Most couples therapy fails because it doesn’t get to the emotional heart of the problem. EFT does.

If communication skills and "I" statements worked - you'd have fixed your relationship already. 

In couples counseling I'll help you both identify the patterns that pull you apart — those moments when one of you withdraws, or lashes out, or goes numb — and we learn what’s really happening underneath.

 

Through this work, you will both begin to:

  • Recognize and stop repeating your reactive cycles, the repetitive fights, the hurts that keep coming up in conversation

  • Understand the emotional needs driving your fights, what's the trigger that sets it all off

  • Rebuild safety and trust after betrayal or secrecy

  • You'll both learn how to reach instead of retreat, how to slow down and soften rather than lash out.
     

Couples can't do this on their own because you are so important to each other.  I can help you do this - I'm the benevolent outsider you need right now and I have the chops and the experience to help you.

Happy Meal
Romantic Kiss

Why Work With Me?

For over two decades, I’ve worked with couples other therapists couldn’t help — the ones told they’re “too reactive,” “too complicated,” or “too far gone.”
(They should never have been told that.)

That’s where I do my best work.

I don’t take many clients — intentionally. I keep my caseload small so I can stay fully engaged. I remember the details that matter. I hold the emotional threads of your story between sessions. And I don’t back away when things get uncomfortable — that’s usually where the real healing begins.

If you’re looking for someone who will tell you the truth, stay steady when things feel chaotic, and guide you toward clarity — that’s the work I do.

It’s not too late to find your way back

Most couples wait far too long to reach out for help — but once they do, they often say,

“We should have done this years ago.”

You don’t have to keep guessing how to fix things on your own. With structure, compassion, and real guidance, change is possible — even if you’ve been disconnected for years.

If you’re ready to stop spinning in the same painful cycle, let’s start.

Online Couples Therapy FAQ –
New Haven, CT

Is our relationship too far gone for therapy to help?

I hear this quite often — usually from couples who have already been through years of hurt, distance, or even betrayal.  Or couples who've tried couples therapy with a provider that wasn't specialized in couples work. Many couples come in thinking they’re too far gone — but what’s usually “gone” is safety, not love.
EFT helps you rebuild that safety, step by step, so real conversations can happen again.  No more shutting down or hot pursuits.  You're on the same team, working to repair your most important relationship.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

EFT is a structured, evidence-based approach to couples therapy that helps you understand and change the emotional patterns that keep you stuck.
Instead of focusing on “who’s right,” EFT helps you identify what’s really happening underneath the fights — the fear, loneliness, and longing that drive those reactive moments.

It’s not about learning how to “communicate better.” It’s about learning how to reach for each other in new, softer ways — so repair becomes possible again.

We’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help. How is this different?

Many couples have had unhelpful experiences in therapy — sessions that stayed on the surface or turned into weekly arguments without real progress.
EFT is different because it’s structured and experiential. We don’t just talk about your problems; we slow them down in real time, so you can actually experience what’s happening between you — and learn how to shift it.

My approach is active, compassionate, and clear. I won’t sit back and watch you fight. I’ll reflect back to you what I see happening in the space between the two of you so you can learn to reach for each other differently.

Do you only work with couples in crisis?

That’s my specialty — but not my limit.
Many couples come to me because they want to stop repeating the same painful patterns before they reach a breaking point.

Whether you’re newly married and struggling with communication, or decades in and feeling disconnected, the work is the same: understanding the emotional patterns that keep you apart, and learning how to rebuild trust and closeness.

What if my partner isn’t sure about therapy?

That’s common — and okay.
Sometimes one person is ready to start, and the other feels hesitant, ashamed, or hopeless. We can start by talking about what therapy actually looks like, and what it’s not.

Couples therapy isn’t about assigning blame. It’s about finding the pattern that traps you both, and learning how to step out of it together.

If one partner refuses entirely, I also offer Discernment Counseling, a short-term, structured process designed to help couples decide whether to repair the relationship or separate thoughtfully.

How long does couples therapy take?

That depends on the level of distress and your goals.
Some couples begin to notice changes after just a few sessions, while others — especially those recovering from betrayal or long-term disconnection — need several months of consistent work.

EFT is not meant to be open-ended forever. We work toward specific change -- with a specific road map.  A map that has freed countless couples from their negative dance.

What’s your fee?

My work is highly specialized and intensive. I keep a small caseload so I can stay fully engaged with each couple.
Current session fees are listed on my Investment page. 

Romantic Activities for Couples in New Haven, Connecticut

New Haven offers many wonderful ways for couples to reconnect:

These experiences offer a mix of culture, nature, and entertainment—perfect for couples looking to reconnect and enjoy quality time together in New Haven.

At a Restaurant
I'm also a highly trained and experienced Emotionally Focused Individual Therapist.  If you're looking for individual therapy for divorce, attachment trauma, or midlife reinvention please see my other website: Brave Season Therapy.
Logo for the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy.

You Are Welcome Here

Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling | Couples Therapy for Infidelity | Therapy for High-Conflict Couples
Discernment Counseling | Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
100% online in all of Massachusetts: Boston - Worcester - Framingham - Springfield - Cambridge - Wellesley - Newton - Brockton 
Online in all of Connecticut, New Haven, Fairfield, Branford, Darian, Greenwich, Westport, E. Hartford
Online in all of Florida: Naples, Tampa, Orlando, Boca Raton

I acknowlege that Kimberly Schildbach Therapy operates on the unceded homelands of the Pocumtuc Nation on the land of the Norrwutuck community. I recognize the ongoing impacts of colonization and stand in solidarity with Indigenous communities in their fight for justice, equity,
and the preservation of their cultures and rights.

This website is for information purposes only and does not constitute a therapeutic relationship

© 2023 Kimberly Schildbach LMHC, All Rights Reserved - Powered and secured by Wix

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