Kimberly Schildbach Therapy
Online Couples Therapy and Discernment Counseling in Washington, Massachusetts, Connecticut, & Florida.
Discernment Counseling Intensive for Couples Facing Divorce
If you’re stuck between trying to repair the relationship and seriously considering divorce, this is a structured, 2 session process to help you decide with clarity.
You Don’t Have to Keep Living in This Question
Couples Therapy Services in all of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Washington, and Florida.
Stay? Leave? Stay? Leave? The questions spin round and round. Will this destroy the life you’ve built - or save you from years of regret? Guilt, fear, and uncertainty have you frozen. Your heart wants one thing, your head another, and everyone around you has opinions you can’t take. Every choice feels like a trap. And the longer this goes on, the heavier it gets.
But what if you didn’t have to guess?
What if you could use a proven, specialized process like Discernment Counseling - in a focused, private intensive - to help you sort out what’s actually happening inside and between you, without taking months?
That’s exactly what a 2 session Discernment Counseling Intensive can do.
It gives this decision the space, structure, and depth it actually requires - so you can move forward with confidence, knowing you gave yourself and your relationship the process it deserves.
You Don’t Need More Time. You Need a Way to Actually Decide.
Discernment Counseling Couples Intensive
Time to Stop Waiting for a Decision to Find You
I know right now you’re probably frozen. Living in limbo can make you numb. Every choice feels like a trap. If I stay, is that right? If I want a divorce, is that right? A Discernment Counseling Intensive helps you step back from conflict and past relationship injuries so you’re not thinking about whether you can solve your problems - but whether you want to.
We explore how your relationship got to this point - including your contributions - and reflect on when it was good. What did it feel like then, and could it ever feel that way again? We’re not fixing anything. There is no blame, no accusations. This is a way to honestly look at your relationship and begin to identify how you truly feel. An intensive helps you cut through it all faster than ongoing Discernment Counseling.
Discernment is Not About Fixing
We meet all together first. I want to see what’s really happening between you, hear what’s unsaid, and understand how you got here. I want to know about any past couples therapy - what did it address? How did it help (or not)? I then center our individual conversations around the three paths open to you:
-
Status quo: remain as you are.
-
Move toward separation or divorce.
-
Take divorce off the table and commit to a 6-month round of couples therapy with the goal of healing your relationship.
In our individual time, I will guide you gently through all the concerns swimming in your head so you can explore what’s happening in your heart and mind - without feeling like you have to hold back or temper your answers to manage your partner’s reaction.
See How You Got Here - Without Blame
I help you see how your relationship got to this point and whether you have the energy and will to restore it - or if leaving, with understanding of yourself and your partner, is the smarter move. You’ll see your role in the disconnection so you can use this knowledge in every relationship you have going forward - not just this one. I want you to walk out knowing you did everything you could before making this life-altering decision.
Champion Your Marriage Without Pressure
If you’re the one leaning in, I help you fight for your marriage without pressuring a partner who isn’t ready. Right now, they need space to discern how they feel. It would never be helpful for you to be vulnerable if your partner isn’t 100% willing to heal the relationship with you. I’ll help you champion your relationship while caring for yourself. It might feel unfair, but if you both decide to heal in couples therapy, that imbalance will end as the process of healing begins.
If There’s an Ongoing Affair
If there’s an ongoing affair, I’ll guide you through two discernment processes at once: one about the marriage and one about the affair. We’re not fixing anything, and disclosure is only necessary if you decide to move forward and heal your relationship. I can help you and your partner process this and decide if they’re still willing to commit to couples therapy. (This might involve an extra session.)
Fast and Focused
Discernment Counseling Intensives unite a proven, specialized process with the speed of an intensive. Why take months stuck in limbo when you can achieve clarity in just 2 extended sessions?
Give yourself a supportive process to decide.
FAQs about Divorce Decision: Discernment Counseling Intensive
What is a Discernment Counseling Intensive?
It’s a fast, focused process for couples at a crossroads. A structured, proven approach to help you face the hard questions and clarify whether repair, separation, or divorce is the path that makes sense for you. I prefer to offer it in an intensive format for busy couples. Many couples are in deep pain and would like to move out of limbo as fast as possible.
How is this different from regular couples therapy?
We’re not fixing the relationship in these sessions. Traditional couples therapy assumes both partners are wanting to heal the relationship, a good couples therapist will lead both of you deeper and deeper into vulnerability. If one of you is undecided, couples therapy becomes skewed - with one partner opening up and the other holding back. You can stay stuck there for months with no breakthrough. Before you enter couples therapy you can choose a process that will help you decide if you even have the energy or the interest in opening up and healing. And with an intensive structure - this process moves faster.
Who is this for?
Couples in limbo - when one partner is leaning out and the other isn’t sure, or when both need clarity before making a major decision. It’s also for relationships complicated by affairs, repeated conflict, or high-stakes uncertainty. We won’t be revisiting all the injuries. If you need to discern the next steps for your relationship - whether to heal or let go - Discernment Counseling is for you.
What happens in a Discernment Counseling Intensive?
We start together to see the full picture, then meet individually so each of you can speak freely. Sessions guide you through your feelings, your partner’s perspective, and your options - without blame or pressure. I have no vote in your decision. My job is to help you explore all parts, possibilities, and feelings so that by the final session, you’ll have made a clear and confident decision about next steps for your relationship.
How many sessions do I need?
Most couples complete the process in two 3-hour extended sessions. Your second session is usually scheduled about two weeks later, giving you time to go home, reflect, and come back with a clearer understanding of yourself and where you’re leaning. Additional sessions are available if more support is needed. Compare that to weekly Discernment Counseling - with busy schedules it can take months to schedule and complete the 1-5 session process.
What if I've filed for divorce?
That’s okay. As long as you’re still unsure, the process is the same - though an intensive can give you clarity faster when time feels urgent. Taking the time to fully understand each other now can set the stage for a more collaborative divorce process and healthier co-parenting. The intensive helps you decide thoughtfully rather than reactively. If divorce is the path, you’ll leave with a clearer, more intentional plan. If repair feels possible, you’ll have a roadmap for healing - knowing you’ve fully explored your options.
**Important: If you’ve fully made up your mind to divorce and just need someone to guide the legal process, a divorce mediator or collaborative divorce lawyer is more appropriate. This process is not for using a therapist to explain your decision to your partner or to process the divorce with them - it’s designed for couples who are still unsure and need clarity before taking the next step.
What if there’s an ongoing affair?
I can guide you through two discernment processes at once: one for the marriage and one for the affair. Disclosure is only necessary if you choose to move forward with repair. If you decide to disclose while moving toward couples therapy, we can add extra sessions to support your partner in starting a new or altered discernment process: exploring whether they still want to move toward healing the relationship now that they have this new information.