Kimberly Schildbach Therapy
Online Couples Therapy and Discernment Counseling in Washington, Massachusetts, Connecticut, & Florida.
Therapy for Infidelity and Affairs in Seattle, Washington
Betrayal doesn't have to be the end of everything.
Focused, specialized couples therapy for affairs, betrayal, and sexual secrecy.
You’re holding what’s left and hoping it can become something whole again.
Does this sound like you?
Since discovering the infidelity, you can’t turn off. Your mind is on a relentless - replaying conversations, dissecting details, checking for inconsistencies, wondering what else you don’t know. You need reassurance. You need to know what’s real. But instead of feeling safer, every unanswered question sends you spiraling all over again.
If you're the partner that turned out, you're ready to repair the damage you caused but guilt, fear, and shame about how you acted keeps you stuck in endless apologies that don't land or defensive shutdowns. You're terrified that nothing you say will ever be enough.
You’re both still want this to work, but you're frightened this rupture has permanently changed everything.
I specialize in helping couples recover from infidelity using evidence-based Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. You won’t be guessing about how to heal - you’ll have my expert guidance.
When You’re Both Spinning in Different Kinds of Pain
You are hurting badly right now, and you're probably hurting in very different ways. If you've been betrayed, you may be consumed by questions and anger - desperate to understand how the person you trusted most in the world could do this. If you've had the affair, you're carrying shame, regret, and the terrifying realization that your choices have deeply wounded the person you love. You're both exhausted, and you're probably wondering the same thing: Can we actually come back from this?
Yes. There is a way forward, and I will help you find it.
You'll Learn How to Turn Toward Each Other Again
Right now, you have no idea how to talk about this without ending up in another fight. You may be reaching for answers while your partner is shutting down, or trying desperately to repair things while your partner can't yet believe a word you say.
First, we'll help you both come out of your boxing corners and into the center of the ring. Then I'll help you both really listen to each other rather than just reactive with defense or shut down. We'll silence the insults and accusations that get you no where.
Then we'll begin the harder work: learning how to reach for each other again. Learning how to repair. I'll teach you how to respond to each other in ways that begin to rebuild trust rather than deepen the wound.
Creating the Safety You Need to Heal
If you've been betrayed, you're looking for missing pieces, questioning what you know, and wondering whether there is something else you haven't been told. You need the truth before you can begin to feel safe.
I'll help you create a shared understanding of what happened and help the partner who cheated face the decisions that led there with honesty and emotional responsibility. You deserve to understand how this happened to your relationship, and your partner needs to be able to answer that question without hiding behind shame or defensiveness.
Right now, you're living in two different emotional worlds. I'll help you bridge the divide.
Taking Responsibility and Rebuilding Trust
There is no shortcut around this part. The partner who had the affair has to take responsibility for the choices that were made, and the betrayed partner needs space to grieve what was lost and make sense of what happened. I will help you do both.
And this is where inexperienced therapists get it wrong.
As we work through the affair, we'll be working on two levels. One is working through the affair, the timeline, and the pain of that. The other is helping you both recognize the emotional patterns that had developed between you before the affair. The interactional pattern that kept you apart and that you may have never had time to address.
Then we'll work on learning new ways of turning toward each other when you are hurt, afraid, angry, or overwhelmed. This is the start of a new day - a stronger relationship built on true sharing and teamwork. Affair-proof.
Building Something You Can Trust Again
You're wondering if you'll ever feel close again, whether you'll ever stop thinking about what happened, or whether your partner will ever truly trust you again. Will they ever look at you the same way?
Healing after infidelity is possible, and in fact, you can become stronger in the places where your relationship had been weak. Learning to be honest with each other, to talk about hard things without destroying the connection between you, to repair the damage when you get off track, and to know how to reach for each other when life gets hard - all of this is possible.
You both deserve to feel secure, knowing that you are the other person's most important person. One day you can look back on this part of your relationship and think, "We got through that together, and we're stronger for it."
How Couples Therapy for Infidelity Can Help Your Relationship Become Stronger than Ever
Couples Therapy for Infidelity in Seattle, Washington
Choose Your Path: Weekly Therapy or Intensive Therapy for Infidelity
Every couple arrives in a different place. Some need steady, ongoing support as they work through the aftermath of betrayal. Others feel like they're in crisis and don't want to spend months waiting for relief. That's why I offer two ways to work together.
Path One: Ongoing Therapy
Weekly or biweekly 50-minute sessions, beginning with an 80-minute intake session
Ideal if you're both committed to the process and value the support and accountability
that ongoing therapy provides
Best for couples who can consistently attend sessions over time
Weekly and biweekly sessions allow us to work through blocks, setbacks, and escalations as they arise in real life
For couples with infidelity (recently discovered or in the past), betrayal, and high-conflict
Path Two: Intensive Therapy
Choose a 2-Day or 3-Day Intensive
For couples ready to stay with the hard emotions that arise so something different can happen
For couples who keep adding pain to pain in arguments, feel overwhelmed, or are beginning to lose hope
For couples whose lives don't allow for weekly meetings. Intensives provide the focused time and space needed to go deeply into repair
For couples facing infidelity, betrayal, high conflict, or uncertainty about the future
Begin Your Repair With a Clear, Proven Process
Healing after infidelity or betrayal requires more than good intentions - it requires a structured, proven process. I’ll guide you in slowing the damage, making amends that truly land, and clearing the unresolved pain keeping you apart.
When the space between you softens, you’re able to see and reach for each other and feel renewed confidence in your relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions: Therapy for Infidelity in Seattle, Washington
Can couples really recover from infidelity?
Yes. Research consistently shows that couples can heal from infidelity - when the work is structured, emotionally focused, and trauma-informed. EFT is one of the most effective approaches for repairing trust and attachment injuries.
How long does infidelity recovery therapy take?
Healing happens in phases. We begin by creating a shared timeline, which helps calm the negative cycle that keeps you from comforting and understanding each other. Then we move into the deeper end of the emotional swimming pool and bring to the surface the fears that led the person toward porn use or infidelity rather than turning toward their partner.
Some couples notice relief within weeks as conversations become safer and clearer. Deeper attachment repair typically unfolds over several months, depending on the complexity of the betrayal and your commitment to the process. Most couples therapy for infidelity takes at least a year to fully rebuild trust and secure connection.
What if the betrayed partner has PTSD symptoms?
Intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, emotional flooding, and sleep disruption are normal trauma responses after betrayal. EFT works directly with the nervous system and the attachment bond to reduce these symptoms. In fact, healing these symptoms within the context of your relationship makes the work even more powerful. You are learning to process pain relationally, and while individual treatment for PTSD symptoms can be helpful, the only way to feel the safety your nervous system craves is through a real change in how you are together.
What if the partner who cheated feels too ashamed to talk?
Shame is common - and it often blocks repair. I want to help you explore your shame, especially with your partner, so you can show up to conversations in a different way. Shame is an indicator that you are a good person who did a bad thing. Rather than avoiding the work that will kick shame to the curb, couples therapy helps you share the shame and the guilt - and become the person you want to be in your relationship.
Is couples therapy only about saving the relationship?
Couples therapy is for two people who are both committed to rebuilding their connection. If one partner is unsure or leaning out, jumping straight into couples therapy can feel frustrating or even stall progress. In those cases, Discernment Counseling - a structured, time-limited process of 1–5 sessions - will help you gain clarity. Discernment Counseling helps you decide whether to maintain the relationship as it is, move toward separation or divorce, or commit fully to repair with divorce off the table. Once you’ve done that work, couples therapy becomes far more effective, because both partners show up ready to heal.
Why choose an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist for infidelity?
EFT is specifically designed to repair attachment injuries and restore emotional safety - making it uniquely effective for betrayal recovery. It's non-judgmental and balanced; finding the “bad guy” won’t help the two of you love each other again - it usually creates more defense and distance. I want to help you feel your partner’s heart again: the regret and shame, the pain and devastation, so you can be in the relationship you’ve always wanted. This is healing on a deep emotional level, which makes it lasting.
I’m afraid I’ll be blamed or shamed in couples therapy for infidelity. Will I?
No. That’s not how I work.
You’re not here to be shamed. You’re here because something important in your relationship is hurting - and because you care enough to face it.
In our work together, we make space for everyone’s pain—including yours. The goal isn’t to label you or pick apart your past. The goal is to understand what happened, why it happened, and what healing looks like for you and your partner.
What if I don’t even know why I did what I did?
That’s more common than you think.
Many people who struggle with secrecy in relationships don’t fully understand their own patterns yet. That’s okay. We work together to slow things down, bring compassion into the room, and begin to untangle what’s been driving the behavior - without shame. (And if shame shows up we'll explore and understand that too!)
I’ve already stopped the behavior. Why do we need therapy now?
Stopping the behavior can be a powerful first step - but repair takes more than that. Unprocessed pain drives behavior, and if your relationship has never had a process to find new ways of reaching for each other, make sense of and honor the pain, and deliver an apology your partner can truly receive.
What if I’m scared this will make things worse?
It’s okay to be scared. And it's okay to do this hard thing while also feeling scared.
Conversations like these are hard. But not having them often causes even more pain. Holding secrets invades the safety of relationships. Couples therapy gives you both a structured, supportive space to talk honestly and safely - with help.
You don’t have to know how to fix everything. You just have to be willing to show up.
Welcome to Seattle, Washington
Seattle, Washington is a major Pacific Northwest city built on the shores of Elliott Bay and Puget Sound, surrounded by water, forests, and mountain views. It was first settled in 1851 and named after Chief Sealth of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes. Over time, Seattle grew from a logging and shipping center into a thriving modern city known for its dynamic economy, rich culture, and natural beauty.
Today, Seattle is a hub for technology, international trade, aerospace, and innovation. It is home to major companies in software, e‑commerce, and biotech, and remains a center for commerce and exports on the West Coast.
The city’s climate is temperate, with mild, wet winters and cool, relatively dry summers. While Seattle is famous for its clouds and drizzle, the rainfall is often lighter than many people expect.
Seattle also boasts a rich cultural scene—from the iconic Space Needle and Pike Place Market to world‑class museums, theaters, and music venues—and offers residents and visitors abundant outdoor recreation opportunities in its many parks, waterfronts, and nearby mountains.
Couples Therapy for Infidelity in Seattle, Washington
Seattle couples facing infidelity don't have to figure out what happens next on their own.
Whether you're living in Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland, or elsewhere in the Puget Sound, an affair can leave you questioning everything - your relationship, your partner, and whether trust can ever be restored.
I provide online infidelity couples therapy for couples in Seattle, helping you work through the betrayal, understand what happened, rebuild trust, and find your way back to each other.
If you're wondering whether your relationship can survive an affair, I can help you find out- and help you move forward.