Attachment Based Sex Therapy for Couples

Boston Sex Therapy

Online in Boston and all of MA, CT, VT and FL

When your sex life hurts, it touches everything.

Maybe sex feels like pressure, or like nothing at all.
Maybe one of you wants more, the other less—and you’re both starting to shut down.
Maybe you're going through the motions, wondering where the spark went.
Or every attempt ends in distance, tension, or silence.

Here’s what’s actually going on:
Desire doesn’t disappear—it gets quiet when we don’t feel safe, connected, or understood.

Attachment-based sex therapy helps you tune into what your body and relationship are trying to say.
Not “fix the problem”—understand the signal.

We use research-backed tools from EFT and attachment science to help you:

Get clear on what turns you on—and what turns you off
Understand why mismatched desire isn’t a character flaw
Learn how emotional safety fuels physical intimacy
Rebuild trust so pleasure feels possible again

Sex isn’t a performance. It’s a conversation.
When that conversation has gone off the rails—or gone completely silent—therapy can help you find the way back.

If you're tired of tiptoeing, guessing, or giving up—you're in the right place.
Whether you’re early in your relationship or decades in, whether sex has been a source of connection or a site of pain, sex therapy can help. Together, we’ll create space to slow down, heal what’s in the way, and reconnect—with your body, your partner, and the intimacy you both long for.

What Is Attachment-Based Sex Therapy?

At its core, attachment-based sex therapy is about understanding the why beneath the sexual struggles.

We slow things down.
We get curious, not critical.
We look at how your patterns around sex are tied to deeper needs for closeness, reassurance, autonomy, and belonging.

Sex is never just about sex.
It’s a window into how you reach for each other—or don’t—when things feel vulnerable.

Using the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), I help you:

Uncover the emotional patterns driving your sexual dynamics
Heal resentments and ruptures that have built up over time
Create space for honest, shame-free conversations about needs, touch, and pleasure
Rebuild trust and safety—emotionally and physically
Experience intimacy as a source of comfort, connection, and mutual joy again

This isn’t about fixing one partner or assigning blame.
It’s about helping both of you feel seen, chosen, and safe enough to show up with your whole selves.

Is Attachment Based Sex Therapy for You?

This work is especially powerful for couples who:

Feel stuck in a pattern of sexual rejection or pressure
Are recovering from infidelity, betrayal, or secretive sexual behavior
Have different levels of desire—and feel hurt, blamed, or misunderstood
Haven’t had sex in months (or years), but aren’t ready to give up
Are navigating sexual compulsivity or out-of-control behavior, and want to rebuild trust
Want to explore intimacy in a way that honors each partner’s nervous system, history, and pacing

Let’s Make Talking About Sex as Easy as Ordering Pizza (Almost)

You deserve a space where you can drop the masks and be completely seen.
Here, talking about sex isn’t awkward or scary—it’s a skill we build together, step by step.
We practice, we repeat, and bit by bit, sex becomes easier to talk about in therapy—and even easier to talk about at home.

It is my priority to make a welcoming space to have the conversations you need to have.

Schedule an appointment

This is your turning point.

Whether you’ve been stuck for months or quietly suffering for years—this is your chance to change the story.

I offer both weekly therapy and private intensives designed for couples who are ready to repair the emotional and sexual bond that’s been fraying for too long.

You don’t have to keep waiting for things to magically get better.
You can choose something different—starting now.

Schedule your first step forward.

FAQ: Boston Attachment-Based Sex Therapy for Couples

We’re barely talking. Can we really do sex therapy right now?

Yes—and this kind of therapy might be exactly what you need.
We won’t jump into sexual exercises or pressure anyone to perform. We start with the emotional disconnection beneath the surface—where the silence, avoidance, or tension around sex is really coming from. You’ll get help slowing things down, so communication and closeness feel possible again.

One of us wants sex more than the other. Is that fixable?

This is one of the most common struggles I see, and no—it's not a sign you're incompatible.
We’ll explore what sex means to each of you: what it evokes emotionally, where the pressure or shutdowns come from, and how you each try to get your needs met. It’s not about whose drive is “normal”—it’s about finding safety, flexibility, and connection again.

Is this therapy sex-positive? What if we have nontraditional preferences or histories?

Yes. This is a sex-positive, trauma-informed, LGBTQ-affirming space.
You won’t be pathologized for your desires, your past, or how your relationship is structured. What matters most is that both partners feel safe, respected, and heard. We'll work from your values, not anyone else's.

What if one of us has experienced betrayal, secrecy, or sexual compulsivity?

You’re not alone—and I work with this often.
We’ll move slowly, with deep respect for both the hurt and the healing. This work helps couples create structure, boundaries, and safety while addressing the emotional wounds and rebuilding trust. There's no rush to “move on.” There is only honesty, care, and forward motion.

Do you offer intensives or just weekly sessions?

I offer both.
Weekly sessions are great for couples who want consistent support over time. Private intensives are a powerful option if you're in crisis, on the brink of separation, or simply want to make faster progress in a safe, structured setting.

We’re scared it’s too late. Is there still hope?

If you're ready to do the work—to get uncomfortable, to challenge old patterns, to find flexibility in how you approach your relationship and sex—there is so much hope.
You know you want it to work. You just don’t know how. That’s where attachment-based sex therapy comes in.
We slow everything down. We map the stuck places.
You’ll learn to turn toward each other instead of away—even when it’s hard.
You’ll start building a sexual connection that feels safe, connected, and real—not performative or avoidant.

It’s not too late. Not if you’re still willing to try.

Kimberly Schildbach

Therapy