"Sex Addiction”? Compulsive Sexual Behaviors? Sexually Problematic Behaviors? What’s the Difference?
You may have noticed that the term “sex addiction” appears in quotation marks throughout my website—and that’s intentional. The American Psychiatric Association does not recognize sex addiction as a formal diagnosis in the DSM-5. But that doesn’t mean the distress, secrecy, or relationship damage tied to compulsive or problematic sexual behaviors isn’t real.
Sexuality is complex and deeply personal. What feels acceptable to one person—or one couple—may feel intolerable or wounding to another. That’s part of what makes this such a sensitive and painful topic for many relationships.
What I focus on in couples therapy:
I help couples navigate the emotional wreckage that often follows discoveries of secrecy, betrayal, or out-of-control sexual behavior. Whether the behavior involves pornography, hookups, online content, or something else—it’s the impact on trust, safety, and connection that takes center stage in our work.
My role is not to diagnose or pathologize, but to help both of you slow down, speak honestly, and begin to understand what happened and why. We explore how to make room for real repair—not through shame, but through structure, emotional clarity, and support.
You're here because you want your relationship to feel better. That’s where specialized couples therapy for sexually problematic behaviors can make a real difference.
When sexual compulsivity or sex addiction enters a relationship, it can shake the foundation of trust, intimacy, and connection. You may feel blindsided, betrayed, or unsure if your relationship can survive. Whether you're the partner struggling with compulsive behaviors or the one left reeling from the discovery, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Healing Starts Here
I specialize in working with couples facing the challenges of sexually compulsive behaviors, helping them make sense of the pain and begin rebuilding trust. My approach is rooted in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which allows us to address the deeper emotional wounds that fuel these behaviors and
the relational ruptures they create.
Addressing the Cycle of Disconnection
Sex addiction and compulsive behaviors damage relationships in a way that feels similar to an affair—because, instead of turning toward your partner, you found solace elsewhere. And maybe the partner who didn’t have this escape also began turning away or giving up. Now, you both feel like you’ve lost each other. Through Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for sex addiction, I help couples turn back toward each other, slow down, and tune in to the feelings that arise before they fall into old coping patterns or shut down completely. Healing starts when you can reach for each other again.
What You Can Expect
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A Safe, Judgment-Free Space – This is not about blame. I want to help you grieve together for something that's been lost. Then we'll build it back up, stronger than before.
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Rebuilding Trust – We’ll work to repair trust with honesty, accountability, and structured support.
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Healing Together – I can help you learn to carry this struggle together. This is the true spirit of interdependence: supporting one another, sharing the burden, and growing stronger as a couple through this journey. You don't have to face this alone.
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Overcoming Isolation – Both of you might be feeling deeply alone—one struggling with shame and secrecy, the other with betrayal and grief. It’s hard to confide in friends and family, but you don’t have to go through this without support.
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A Path Forward – Whether that means working toward healing together or deciding the best path for each of you, I’ll help you find clarity.
Your partnership needs support right now. You don’t have to face this challenge alone—together, we’ll
navigate your path to healing.
Support for the Betrayed Partner
If you’re the partner who has been hurt, you may feel blindsided, betrayed, and completely alone. Your partner might have sought treatment—maybe group therapy or individual counseling—and while that’s an important step for them, where does that leave you? Do you have a space to process your pain? Can you be honest with friends or family about what’s happening? Can the two of you talk about what you've been through without it spiraling into the same painful fight again and again?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps slow things down so you’re not trapped in the same destructive cycles. Together, we’ll uncover the patterns that keep you stuck, explore the emotions beneath the surface, and find ways to express them without blame or escalation. Through this process, you’ll have powerful bonding moments where you and your partner learn to hold the weight of this pain together—as a team. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right support, you can rebuild trust, safety, and connection.
What if we don’t see this as an “addiction”?
That’s completely okay. I don’t need either of you to adopt a specific label in order for us to do meaningful work together. What matters most is that something in your relationship doesn’t feel right. Maybe there’s pain, confusion, betrayal, or a growing distance between you. Maybe you're both struggling to make sense of what’s happened—and what’s still happening.
You’re not alone in this. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. My role is to create a space where both of you can slow down, speak honestly, and begin to make sense of the hurt. Together, we’ll work toward healing and toward a vision of sexuality and connection that feels safe, respectful, and aligned with the kind of relationship you both want to build.
How Individual Treatment Prepares You for Healing Together in Couples Therapy
In most cases, it’s incredibly helpful when the partner struggling with "sex addiction" or compulsive behaviors is already in individual treatment—or has recently completed it.
That’s because this space is focused on your relationship. Couples therapy isn’t a substitute for individual work, and my role here is to help you rebuild trust, repair your connection, and begin to heal together.
If you’re not sure whether this applies to your situation, I’m happy to talk it through with you.
Couples Therapy for Compulsive Porn Use in Fairfield, CT
Online in all of MA, CT, VT, FL
When Is Porn Use a Problem?
Maybe "sex addiction" feels like too strong a word, but if excessive porn use is creating distance in your relationship, it’s worth paying attention to. The real issue isn’t just the behavior—it’s what it replaces. When life gets stressful or emotions feel overwhelming, are you turning to porn instead of your partner? Over time, this pattern can create disconnection, leaving your partner feeling shut out and alone.
In therapy, we’ll explore how these behaviors impact your relationship and help you find ways to turn toward each other instead of away. Rebuilding trust and intimacy starts with understanding the deeper needs driving these patterns—and creating new ways to connect.
Understanding the Impact
"Sex addiction" and sexually compulsive behaviors exist on a spectrum, but both can create distress and disruption in relationships. Sex addiction is characterized by an ongoing, compulsive need for sexual activity despite negative consequences, often tied to deep emotional pain or unprocessed trauma. Sexually compulsive behaviors, on the other hand, may not fit the strict definition of addiction but still involve urges or behaviors that feel out of control and difficult to stop. In both cases, partners may feel helpless, betrayed, or stuck in cycles of secrecy and shame. The goal of therapy is not to manage behaviors but to understand the emotional drivers behind them and to rebuild trust and connection as a couple.
Places for Couples to Eat in Fairfield, CT
Fairfield, CT, offers a variety of excellent dining spots perfect for couples to enjoy a relaxing meal together. Here are some great options:
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The Chelsea – Known for its upscale ambiance and diverse menu, The Chelsea is a local favorite for a romantic dining experience.
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Brick Walk Tavern – This restaurant offers a sophisticated yet approachable atmosphere, perfect for a cozy meal with your loved one.
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Local Craft Kitchen & Bar – Enjoy over 30 craft beers on tap and a vibrant dining experience that’s perfect for a casual yet enjoyable night out.
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Ryebird Neighborhood Restaurant & Bar – A local gem with delicious nightly specials and a welcoming environment for couples to unwind together.
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Sally’s Apizza – A must-try for pizza lovers, this spot offers thin-crust, coal-fired pizzas in a casual, laid-back setting.
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South Bay – Fairfield – Specializing in seafood with a Mediterranean twist, this restaurant offers a unique and relaxing dining experience.
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29 Markle Ct – Known for its creative cocktails and upscale New American cuisine, this cocktail bar provides a stylish place to relax.
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Boca Grille & Raw Bar at H Smith Richardson Golf Course – With fresh seafood offerings and scenic views, this dining spot creates a romantic atmosphere perfect for a relaxing dinner.
Relax and Recharge in Fairfield, CT: Perfect Spots for Couples
Fairfield, CT, offers a variety of serene locations for couples seeking relaxation and connection. A visit to Lake Mohegan provides opportunities for leisurely walks and nature observation, enhancing your time together. For a romantic beach experience, Jennings Beach offers a large sandy area with picturesque views of Long Island Sound, ideal for sunset strolls. To enjoy a cozy meal, The Pantry serves farm-to-table dishes in a relaxed setting, perfect for intimate dining. Additionally, The Loft offers an upscale dining experience, providing a sophisticated atmosphere for couples looking to celebrate special occasions. These destinations in Fairfield offer diverse experiences to help couples unwind and strengthen their bond.
