You’re Here Because You Want to Heal
The moment the truth comes out, everything changes. The rules of your relationship—what you thought was safe, true, and solid—suddenly feel like they’ve been rewritten.
One of you may be stuck in feelings of shame and guilt, trying to remain patient while also wanting the healing to start happening.
The other, gutted by betrayal, finds themselves trying to understand but anger and blame takes over.
It’s overwhelming—but you’re both here because, despite the wreckage, you still want to try.
I specialize in helping couples through the raw, chaotic aftermath of infidelity. Therapy doesn’t make the pain disappear overnight—but it does give you a place to slow down,
understand what happened, and begin rebuilding trust.
You don’t have to stay stuck in the loop of blame and withdrawal.
There’s a path forward—and I’ll help you walk it, step by step.
Heal from Infidelity (or other betrayals) with
Emotionally Focused Therapy
We'll get real right from the start
In our first sessions, we’ll talk about the event or experience that caused the deep hurt. For example, this might be an instance of infidelity, feeling abandoned during a crisis, or another breach of trust that left one partner feeling unsupported or unsafe.
You’ll each have a chance to share your perspective, and we’ll focus on helping the injured partner express the emotional impact of the event—what it felt like, why it hurts, and how it affects their sense of safety in the relationship.
We need to ensure our sessions feel safe for both of you, because without that foundation, our work won’t succeed
Before diving deeper, we’ll work on creating a safe and supportive space. I’ll help you both regulate intense emotions so that we can explore this sensitive topic constructively.
For the injured partner, this means having the freedom to express pain without fear of being dismissed. For the partner who caused the injury, this means creating space to listen and begin to respond with understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Then we'll explore what each of you are thinking and feeling
This step is about getting to the heart of what’s really happening emotionally for both of you.
For the injured partner, we’ll explore the deep feelings behind the hurt, such as fear, sadness, or anger, and connect them to unmet needs (e.g., feeling safe, valued, or loved). For the partner who caused the injury, we’ll work on understanding their emotions—guilt, shame, or even fear—and help them see the injury from their partner’s perspective.
Through this process, we’ll uncover the attachment needs driving the pain, like a desire for reassurance, comfort, or closeness.
Next, the person who was injured will have the chance to truly be seen and heard in their hurt
The next step involves helping the partner who caused the injury respond with genuine empathy. This is where healing begins.
The injured partner will describe what they need to feel understood, such as having their emotions validated or hearing their partner acknowledge the depth of the hurt.
The partner who caused the injury will practice active listening, reflecting back what they’ve heard, and offering responses that show emotional attunement.
This isn’t about fixing things right away but about creating a sense of "You see me. You get it."
I'll guide the offending partner to offer an apology that works
We’ll work on crafting an apology that feels meaningful and healing for the injured partner. This isn’t a quick “I’m sorry,” but a deep acknowledgment of the hurt caused, the emotional impact, and a genuine commitment to change.
We’ll practice what this looks like in session—so both partners feel the sincerity and weight behind the apology.
Then we'll begin building your new, stronger relationship
In this stage, we focus on action. The partner who caused the injury will show through consistent behaviors that they are trustworthy and committed to the relationship. For the injured partner, we’ll explore what they need to feel safe again. This might include clear boundaries, reassurance, or simply seeing small daily efforts that show care.
Together, we’ll create new, positive patterns of interaction to replace old cycles of hurt and defensiveness.
This injury will become part of a new narrative
Finally, we’ll work to reframe the injury—not as the defining moment of your relationship but as something you’ve faced and grown stronger from together. This doesn’t erase the pain but helps transform it into a story of resilience: "We went through something difficult, and we came out stronger, more connected, and more understanding of each other."
My role is to guide you through this process with compassion, helping you navigate the pain and rediscover the connection and security that brought you together in the first place. Healing is possible—and I’m here to help you take the first steps.
An attachment injury can feel overwhelming, but it’s not the end. It’s an opportunity to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond
in ways you may never have imagined.
The Process
Session one:
couple together
We’ll meet together, all three of us. I’ll quickly walk you through how I work and what you can expect from the process. Then we’ll get right to it.
Infidelity shakes everything—but it doesn’t have to end everything. In our first session, we’ll start by finding out how you're both feeling right now. We’ll gently explore what each of you knows, how and when the affair was discovered, and the emotional toll it’s taken.
There’s no rushing this part—just a lot of space for honesty, pain, and tenderness. I bring deep empathy to these conversations, because I know how vulnerable and disorienting it can be to even sit in the same room together after trust has been broken.
Session two and three: individual sessions
In sessions two and three, I’ll meet with each of you individually. This gives me a chance to learn more about your family background, relationship history, goals, and concerns—outside of the couple dynamic.
These one-on-one sessions help me build a strong, trusting connection with both of you, as I work in support of your relationship.
Session four and beyond:
couple together
Session four and beyond is where we begin to explore the cycle that was in place before the affair—and the cycle you’re caught in now. These sessions can be tender and raw, and I’ll be there to help you both feel a little safer in the hard conversations.
We’ll focus on those pivotal moments where things go off track—when emotions run high, when one of you feels shut down, or when the hurt resurfaces. I’ll help guide you through conversations where the betrayed partner can express their pain, and the partner who stepped outside the relationship can stay open to hearing that hurt—without shutting down or becoming defensive.
As you begin to see how your coping styles impact one another, we’ll work together to soften the cycle and create space for healing. I’ve helped many couples move through infidelity and build a love that’s more honest, more connected, and more resilient than ever.
Jump start your healing.
Why spend months inching forward when real change can begin in just a day or two?
A Couples Therapy Intensive gives your relationship the momentum it’s been missing—helping you move through stuck patterns, rebuild trust, and reconnect faster.
For many couples, especially after infidelity, addiction, or other painful breaches, an intensive jump-starts the healing process and sets the stage for meaningful weekly or biweekly work.
It’s Not Too Late
You’ve made it this far. That means something in you still holds on.
Holds on to the belief that what you had was meaningful.
That the love, the laughter, the way you once reached for each other—it wasn’t all lost.
Right now, everything may feel cracked wide open. The betrayal, the grief, the shock of it all.
But your being here is a signal: healing is still possible.
You don’t need all the answers today.
You just need to be willing to take the next step.
Even if all that’s left is a flicker of hope—we can start there.
Together, we’ll begin to make sense of what happened, and slowly rebuild something real.
Therapy for Infidelity FAQs
What if the affair is ongoing?
If the affair is ongoing, we can meet (if everyone is aware of the affair) for a limited number of sessions to help you both sort things out, but my ability to help you reconnect is limited.
I cannot ask the hurt partner to reach out, be vulnerable, and risk connection while the betrayal is still happening.
If one of you is unsure about staying in the marriage, I recommend Discernment Counseling—a structured process to help you gain clarity on whether to repair or separate.
Can a relationship survive infidelity?
Yes, many relationships do survive infidelity—and some even grow stronger and more authentic in the long run. You don't have to give up on your relationship after their has been an injury.
How does therapy help after cheating?
Therapy creates a structured, neutral space where:
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The betrayed partner can process shock, grief, and anger
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The partner who had the affair can offer honesty, apology, and make true amends
They’ll also explore what led to their unskilled behavior—gaining insight into themselves, so both of you can trust that it won’t happen again.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about healing.
What if we’re not sure we want to stay together?
That’s okay. You don’t need certainty to start therapy. In fact, that’s often why people come.
Therapy helps you slow down, move out of reactivity, and explore what each of you wants—with support, perspective, and care.
Is therapy for infidelity just about the affair?
No. The affair is a symptom, not the whole story. Therapy digs deeper into:
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Relationship patterns
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Attachment wounds
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Emotional disconnection
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Personal and relational history
Whether you stay or not, we’ll work toward clarity and emotional resolution—not just symptom management.
How long does it take to heal from infidelity?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But generally, healing from infidelity takes months—not weeks.
Therapy helps:
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De-escalate crisis mode
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Understand and manage emotional triggers
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Explore rebuilding trust or finding closure
Recovery is not linear—but it is possible, with guidance and intention.
Do you work with emotional affairs or online cheating?
Yes. Emotional affairs, online infidelity, sexting, and pornography-related betrayal are all real forms of relational injury.
What matters is how it impacted you.
Can you help with repeat infidelity or serial cheating?
Yes—but the work is different. If betrayal has happened more than once, we’ll explore:
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Deep-rooted avoidance or trauma patterns
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Self-sabotaging behaviors
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Unmet emotional needs
Accountability is non-negotiable. -
What if I feel broken after being cheated on?
You’re not broken. You’re wounded. Betrayal shakes your sense of self, safety, and reality.
Therapy supports you in:
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Processing the grief and shock
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Rebuilding your inner stability
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Reclaiming your self-worth
You’re not meant to “just get over it.” You’re meant to move through it—with care and strength.
Do you offer intensive therapy for infidelity?
Yes. For couples or individuals in crisis, I offer one-day and two-day therapy intensives.
These are ideal when you don’t want to wait weeks between sessions and need focused support now.
Learn more here: Couples Therapy Intensives
Will you take my partner's side against me in therapy?
This is a valid concern. Friends and coworkers usually "take a side", leaving us feeling judged and ganged up on.
I am specifically trained to connect and understand each member's point of view. Each member has a valid opinion of what has happened. Our sessions will be balanced and fair with each of you having ample time to speak and feel validated.
Will I get to tell my side of the story?
We'll meet all together for our first session and then I'll have individual sessions with both of you. These sessions are a time to discuss your goals for therapy and to get to know about your history in your family of origin and your history as a couple.
Romantic & Relaxing Spots for Couples in Darien, CT
Darien offers peaceful escapes perfect for couples looking to unwind and reconnect. Start your day with a serene walk along the shoreline at Weed Beach, a quiet spot with beautiful views of Long Island Sound. For nature lovers, the Darien Nature Center offers trails and programs that bring you closer to each other and the outdoors. If you're in the mood for something cozy and cultural, check out a performance or film at The Darien Arts Center. Whether you're strolling hand-in-hand or taking in a show, Darien makes it easy to slow down and be present with each other.
