Will Our Relationship Survive?
You’re not just wondering if the relationship will survive. You’re wondering if you will.
Because right now? It feels like everything’s upside down. The person you used to laugh with, dream with, breathe with—feels a million miles away. Or worse, they’re right there… and you feel totally alone.
Here’s the thing: if you’re still here, reading this, some part of you still gives a damn. Even if you're tired. Even if you're angry. Even if you're halfway out the door. That tiny thread? That’s where we start.
I won’t throw false hope at you. This isn’t about duct-taping your relationship together or pretending everything’s fine. This is about getting real—about what broke, why it hurts so much, and whether the two of you still have enough left to build something honest, strong, and worth staying for.
In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we don’t just slap tools on top of wounds. We go in. We slow things down, dig beneath the blowups and shutdowns, and find the stuck places where love turned into fear. We help you talk in a way that actually lands—so you stop feeling like strangers in the same room.
Can your relationship survive? Here’s the better question:
Can it become something braver, deeper, and more connected than it’s ever been?
That’s possible too.
Heal from Infidelity (or other betrayals) with
Emotionally Focused Therapy
We'll get real right from the start
In our first sessions, we’ll talk about the event or experience that caused the deep hurt. For example, this might be an instance of infidelity, feeling abandoned during a crisis, or another breach of trust that left one partner feeling unsupported or unsafe.
You’ll each have a chance to share your perspective, and we’ll focus on helping the injured partner express the emotional impact of the event—what it felt like, why it hurts, and how it affects their sense of safety in the relationship.
We need to ensure our sessions feel safe for both of you, because without that foundation, our work won’t succeed
Before diving deeper, we’ll work on creating a safe and supportive space. I’ll help you both regulate intense emotions so that we can explore this sensitive topic constructively.
For the injured partner, this means having the freedom to express pain without fear of being dismissed. For the partner who caused the injury, this means creating space to listen and begin to respond with understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Then we'll explore what each of you are thinking and feeling
This step is about getting to the heart of what’s really happening emotionally for both of you.
For the injured partner, we’ll explore the deep feelings behind the hurt, such as fear, sadness, or anger, and connect them to unmet needs (e.g., feeling safe, valued, or loved). For the partner who caused the injury, we’ll work on understanding their emotions—guilt, shame, or even fear—and help them see the injury from their partner’s perspective.
Through this process, we’ll uncover the attachment needs driving the pain, like a desire for reassurance, comfort, or closeness.
Next, the person who was injured will have the chance to truly be seen and heard in their hurt
The next step involves helping the partner who caused the injury respond with genuine empathy. This is where healing begins.
The injured partner will describe what they need to feel understood, such as having their emotions validated or hearing their partner acknowledge the depth of the hurt.
The partner who caused the injury will practice active listening, reflecting back what they’ve heard, and offering responses that show emotional attunement.
This isn’t about fixing things right away but about creating a sense of "You see me. You get it."
I'll guide the offending partner to offer an apology that works
We’ll work on crafting an apology that feels meaningful and healing for the injured partner. This isn’t a quick “I’m sorry,” but a deep acknowledgment of the hurt caused, the emotional impact, and a genuine commitment to change.
We’ll practice what this looks like in session—so both partners feel the sincerity and weight behind the apology.
Then we'll begin building your new, stronger relationship
In this stage, we focus on action. The partner who caused the injury will show through consistent behaviors that they are trustworthy and committed to the relationship. For the injured partner, we’ll explore what they need to feel safe again. This might include clear boundaries, reassurance, or simply seeing small daily efforts that show care.
Together, we’ll create new, positive patterns of interaction to replace old cycles of hurt and defensiveness.
This injury will become part of a new narrative
Finally, we’ll work to reframe the injury—not as the defining moment of your relationship but as something you’ve faced and grown stronger from together. This doesn’t erase the pain but helps transform it into a story of resilience: "We went through something difficult, and we came out stronger, more connected, and more understanding of each other."
My role is to guide you through this process with compassion, helping you navigate the pain and rediscover the connection and security that brought you together in the first place. Healing is possible—and I’m here to help you take the first steps.
An attachment injury can feel overwhelming, but it’s not the end. It’s an opportunity to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond
in ways you may never have imagined.
Get Weeks of Therapy in Just 1-2 Days
Why wait months when you can supercharge your relationship in just 1 or 2 days? A couples therapy intensive lets you fast-track what would normally take weeks—resolving conflicts, rebuilding trust, and sparking new energy in your relationship.
Think of it as therapy on steroids (the good kind)—packed with insights, breakthroughs, and a massive boost to your connection. Get your best friend back and reignite the spark.
The Process
Session one:
couple together
We’ll meet together, all three of us. I’ll quickly walk you through how I work and what you can expect from the process. Then we’ll get right to it.
Infidelity shakes everything—but it doesn’t have to end everything. In our first session, we’ll start by finding out how you're both feeling right now. We’ll gently explore what each of you knows, how and when the affair was discovered, and the emotional toll it’s taken.
There’s no rushing this part—just a lot of space for honesty, pain, and tenderness. I bring deep empathy to these conversations, because I know how vulnerable and disorienting it can be to even sit in the same room together after trust has been broken.
Session two and three: individual sessions
In sessions two and three, I’ll meet with each of you individually. This gives me a chance to learn more about your family background, relationship history, goals, and concerns—outside of the couple dynamic.
These one-on-one sessions help me build a strong, trusting connection with both of you, as I work in support of your relationship.
Session four and beyond:
couple together
Session four and beyond is where we begin to explore the cycle that was in place before the affair—and the cycle you’re caught in now. These sessions can be tender and raw, and I’ll be there to help you both feel a little safer in the hard conversations.
We’ll focus on those pivotal moments where things go off track—when emotions run high, when one of you feels shut down, or when the hurt resurfaces. I’ll help guide you through conversations where the betrayed partner can express their pain, and the partner who stepped outside the relationship can stay open to hearing that hurt—without shutting down or becoming defensive.
As you begin to see how your coping styles impact one another, we’ll work together to soften the cycle and create space for healing. I’ve helped many couples move through infidelity and build a love that’s more honest, more connected, and more resilient than ever.
Experience the transformative power of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Infidelity
When someone you love betrays you—through infidelity, secrecy, or other forms of broken trust—it hits deeper than anger. It scrambles your sense of safety.
In EFT, we understand that betrayal isn't just a moral injury—it's an attachment injury. It shakes the foundation of connection. For the hurt partner, it can feel like emotional freefall: The person I turned to for comfort is now the one I need protection from.
EFT is built for healing through repairing the emotional bond.
Here’s how:
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EFT slows the chaos and helps make sense of the emotional storm. It creates space for the hurt partner to say, “I don’t know if I can trust you to catch me anymore” That honesty becomes the beginning of repair.
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It validates the disorientation. EFT doesn’t rush forgiveness or minimize the impact.
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It helps the unfaithful or betraying partner stay emotionally present without becoming overwhelmed by guilt or shame. They learn how to show up not just with regret, but with responsiveness and curiosity.
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It rebuilds safety through vulnerable connection. EFT guides both partners toward moments where they can risk being emotionally real—sharing fear, sadness, longing—instead of getting stuck in attack/defend cycles.
EFT doesn’t erase the past. But it helps couples turn toward each other in the aftermath of betrayal, instead of away. It gives them a path back—not to how things were, but to something more honest, more emotionally alive, and deeply healing.
Therapy for Infidelity in Darien, CT
What if the affair is ongoing? If the affair is ongoing, my ability to help you reconnect is limited. I cannot ask the hurt partner to reach out and risk connection while the betrayal is still happening. True healing requires honesty and a commitment to change. If one of you is unsure about staying in the marriage, I recommend Discernment Counseling—a structured process to help you gain clarity on whether to repair or separate.
Will you take my partner's side against me in therapy? This is a valid concern. Friends and coworkers usually "take a side", leaving us feeling judged and ganged up on. I am specifically trained to connect and understand each member's point of view. Each member has a valid opinion of what has happened. Our sessions will be balanced and fair with each of you having ample time to speak and feel validated.
I'm concerned you'll tell us to give up or that I'm wrong. I don't want to feel judged. You can expect me to be warm, friendly, and easy to talk to. My job is not to judge or tell you how to live your life. My job is to help you both feel heard and to help you hear each other. Behind our actions can be painful emotions that need to be processed with an experienced guide.
Will I get to tell my side of the story? We'll meet all together for our first session and then I'll have individual sessions with both of you. These sessions are important for me to assess whether their are contraindications for therapy (like an ongoing affair, active addictions, or intimate partner violence.) These sessions are also a time to discuss your goals for therapy and to get to know about your history in your family of origin and your history as a couple.
How do we start couples counseling? I'm ready and I don't want to wait long. Contact me with any questions or concerns or to schedule your first therapy session. My weekly slots fill up quickly. If you need support sooner I suggest a Couples Therapy Intensive.
Romantic & Relaxing Spots for Couples in Darien, CT
Darien offers peaceful escapes perfect for couples looking to unwind and reconnect. Start your day with a serene walk along the shoreline at Weed Beach, a quiet spot with beautiful views of Long Island Sound. For nature lovers, the Darien Nature Center offers trails and programs that bring you closer to each other and the outdoors. If you're in the mood for something cozy and cultural, check out a performance or film at The Darien Arts Center. Whether you're strolling hand-in-hand or taking in a show, Darien makes it easy to slow down and be present with each other.
